


Sticky Notes

by The_Breaths_of_Chloe



Category: Pitch Perfect (Movies)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-26
Updated: 2016-08-29
Packaged: 2018-07-26 20:23:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 13
Words: 27,663
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7588759
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Breaths_of_Chloe/pseuds/The_Breaths_of_Chloe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Communication between two people can be tricky, especially when it becomes entirely one-sided.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> AN: So this sprawling opus that you are about to read started off as a little oneshot, based on a tumblr prompt I saw awhile back. When I started writing it I had planned on it being a few thousand words and a very quick project, now almost thirty thousand words and quite a few months later, it’s finally done! 
> 
> I’m breaking it up into a few chapters because it gets pretty heavy and angsty in the middle and I think it will be easier to digest this way, but fear not, the entire story is written and I’ll be posting a chapter every couple of days or so. 
> 
> Now like I said this does get seriously angsty around the middle-ish, but stick with me and I think, in the end, it will all be worthwhile.
> 
> Also I’m waiting to post the prompt because it kind of gives the entire story away. 
> 
> So… without further ado…
> 
> Submitted for your approval…
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own Pitch Perfect 1 or 2 or any of the characters therein. I also do not own any trademarked or copyrighted places or things that are mentioned.

Beca was sitting on the floor in her office when she heard the landline telephone ring. Without much thought at all, she decided to ignore it. After a few rings the answering machine clicked on and the message began to play. Chloe’s bright voice filled the room.

“Hi you’ve reached Chloe and Beca we’re not home right now, but leave us a message and we’ll get back to you as soon as we can.”

Beca heard the beep and then a beat of silence before Stacie’s voice rang out into the small room.

“Hi Beca, it’s Stace. Are you really not home or are you just screening…? If you are home, please pick up.”

Beca sat staring blankly at the blue flashing light on the machine, that indicated there was a message being recorded, but made no move to do anything about it.

After waiting a moment, Stacie, having done this enough times to know that Beca wouldn’t pick up even if she was home, continued.

“OK I guess you’re not there. Anyway, give me a call when you get this. We’re all worried about you. Please just call and let us know you’re alright, ok? Ok, Bye… Call me.”

The room fell silent as the line went dead and Beca saw the blinking light on the machine turn from blue to red, indicating that there was now a new message waiting to be played. She sighed. She knew she should get up and shower, leave the house, see her friends, or at the very least grab the phone and call Stacie back, but as much as she tried to will her legs to stand, or her arms to reach for the phone, they simply would not.

She sighed again, frustrated at her own inability, and looked back down to the block of sticky notes sitting in front of her. She picked it up and wrote ‘sparkling eyes’ on the top note, before putting her pen down, peeling the note she had just written off the block and sticking it to the wall in front of her.

* * *

 

One year earlier

Two weeks after winning world’s, Beca was sitting at the kitchen island in the Bella house, staring down at her phone, rereading the email she had just received.

“Beca!”

Beca jumped at the sound of her name being shouted and looked up from her phone to see Chloe standing by the fridge with a bottle of water in her hand, looking slightly annoyed.

“Huh? What? Sorry.” Beca said still in a bit of a daze.

Chloe put both hands on her hips and stared pointedly at Beca. “Seriously Becs? I’ve been standing here talking to you for five minutes. Is Facebook really that important?”

Beca chuckled “No, Chlo, it wasn’t Facebook. I was reading an email. Sorry, what’s up?”

“Eh, don’t worry about it. It wasn’t important anyway.” Chloe waved the question off as she climbed up on the bar stool across the island from Beca, “Who was the email from? A secret admirer?”  Chloe asked with a wink.

Beca, being mostly used to Chloe’s flirting at this point, laughed and answered, “Not hardly. It’s from my boss at Residual Heat.”

“Uh oh.” Chloe said with a grimace before picking up the wooden spoon that was laying on the counter in front of her and waving it like a fairy wand, asking in a high pitched voice “Are you a good email or a bad email?”

The Wizard of OZ was one of the few movies that Beca actually liked and she laughed at the cheesy reference, earning a bright smile from Chloe.

“Um. It’s a good email actually.” Beca said returning Chloe’s smile with a shy one of her own.

Chloe, always Beca’s biggest cheerleader, beamed at the woman sitting across from her. “Well? What’s the news?” She finally asked when Beca didn’t elaborate.

“Remember that demo that Legacy and I recorded?” Beca asked and waited for a response. When Chloe nodded her head vigorously, indicating that she did, Beca continued. “Well it seems that it got sent to Katy Perry and she loved it.”

Beca was sure that the high pitched squeal that came out of Chloe, should have shattered every piece of glassware in the entire neighborhood, in addition to liquefying part of her own brain, but the pain in her ears was quickly forgotten as Chloe jumped up, rounded the island and threw her arms around Beca pulling her close. Beca wrapped her arms around Chloe’s waist and gave her a light squeeze as Chloe whispered into her hair.

“Becs, that is so amazing! I knew you could do it.”

Beca felt her grin threaten to split her face in two as she pulled back slightly so she could look at Chloe.

“Thank you, but that’s not even the best part.”

Chloe’s bright blue eyes widened, as she looked at Beca expectantly. Her arms still resting on the younger woman’s shoulders.

“Capitol Records, who is the parent company of Katy’s new label…” Chloe nodded, obviously wanting Beca to get to the good part “Offered me a job!” Beca finally finished with a little excited squeak that if ever asked about, by anyone other than Chloe, she would firmly deny.

Chloe let loose another squeal, this one, Beca was sure, was half a step away from only being audible to dogs, before pulling Beca tight against her chest again. They held each other for a few moments before Chloe finally pulled back just enough to see Beca’s face and looked deeply into her dark blue eyes.

“I knew you could do it.” She repeated softly.

Beca returned Chloe’s smile, but she noticed that something wasn’t quite right. The glowing smile on the redhead’s face was genuine, but there was a tightness around her eyes that was unusual and hadn’t been there a moment ago. Beca didn’t have time to think much about what it meant before Amy came bursting into the kitchen with Cynthia Rose and Stacie following closely behind.

Amy took one look at Beca and Chloe and turned to the two girls behind her. “You guys owe me ten bucks each. I told you that was the sound of them finally getting it on. Lesbi-honest.”

Cynthia Rose and Stacie laughed, as Beca and Chloe both rolled their eyes and Chloe pulled away, rounding the island to sit back on the bar stool where she had started the conversation.

“No Amy, we were not getting it on. Beca just got some great news and was telling me about it.”

“Is that what the kids are calling it these days?” Amy quickly came back, earning a snicker from Stacie and another eye roll from Beca and Chloe. “But seriously Shortstack, what’s the news?”

Beca waited a second for Chloe to jump in and squeal out the announcement, like she had been doing consistently for the last four years, but after a moment of silence and a quick glance over to see Chloe sitting there watching her, with the same smile and tightness around her eyes that had been there a few minutes before, Beca made a quick mental note to ask Chloe about it later and said simply, “I got a job offer from Capitol Records.”

“What? That’s amazing! Congrats Shorty!” Amy said as she walked over and pulled Beca in for a rib crushing bear hug.

As soon as Amy let Beca go, Stacie pulled her in for a quick one arm hug and Cynthia Rose gave her a playful punch to the shoulder. Both of them congratulating her at the same time.

“This calls for a celebration!” Amy said happily before yelling “Assemble the minions!” and walking out of the kitchen, with Stacie and Cynthia Rose once again close behind her.

Beca laughed and shook her head. “You know, before I met Amy I never knew the word celebration could sound so ominous.”

Chloe nodded absently and chuckled softly.

Beca, getting more concerned by the second, reached over and put her hand on top of Chloe’s. “Chlo are you ok?”

“Yeah, of course Becs. Why?” Chloe came back a little too quickly to be believable. 

“I dunno, you just seem a little off, I guess.”

Chloe smiled the same tight smile and reached over, with her free hand, and patted Beca’s hand. “I’m fine Becs. Really. Now come on let’s go get ready for whatever Amy is planning.”

Beca nodded, deciding not to press the issue for the moment. Chloe got up and made her way out of the kitchen, leaving Beca to a few moments alone with her thoughts.

* * *

 

Amy’s idea of a celebration, was just like everything else that Amy did. Epic. She had taken all of them out to a little bar, close to campus called The Outback, that claimed to have dingo wrestling. In reality it was just random people wrestling with a large stuffed dog, in something that looked like a ball pit at a fast food playground, but the drinks were strong and after a few of them, the spectacle actually became quite entertaining.

A few hours later and all the Bella’s were tucked snug in their beds, contentedly sleeping off the alcohol. Except for Beca, who was laying in her bed, wide awake, tossing and turning, trying to figure out what was going on with Chloe.

Chloe had gone out with all of them, and had talked and laughed just like always, but there was a stiffness to everything she did that Beca had never seen before. She thought back over the day, trying to find something that might have upset Chloe, but for the life of her she couldn’t come up with anything. She knew it had started after she had told Chloe about the job offer, but there was nothing about that that should have upset the redhead.

Beca was startled out of her thoughts by the sound of somebody walking up the steps to her and Amy’s attic room. She squinted into the darkness to try to see who it was. A moment later she saw a familiar silhouette that was clearly her favorite redhead.

“Hey Chlo. Everything ok?” Beca whispered, doing her best not to wake Amy.

“Yeah. I’m ok. Do you mind if I crash with you tonight?”

“No, I don’t mind at all.” Beca responded automatically, as she pulled the blankets back and scooted over to make room for Chloe. It wasn’t the first time that they had shared a bed, or even the first time one of them had gone to the other’s room in the middle of the night seeking the comfort the other offered.

Chloe climbed into bed and turned on her side facing Beca. In the dim light Beca could just make out the shape of Chloe’s face and if the fact that she was here to begin with didn’t tip Beca off that there was something wrong, the tense set of the redhead’s jaw would have.

“Chlo?”

“Becs?”

“Are you sure you’re ok?”

Chloe brought her hand up to rest on top of Beca’s and gave it a quick squeeze.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Goodnight.”

Chloe usually wore her emotions on her sleeve for all the world to see, and was always more than happy to talk about them. This new closed off thing was really throwing Beca for a loop. So she did the only thing she could think of. She laced their fingers together and said “Goodnight Chlo. Sleep tight.”

Beca felt, more than saw Chloe smile, as she said “You too, Becs.”

* * *

 

Three hours later Beca woke up to a soft noise she couldn’t quite place. She saw Chloe laying on her side facing the opposite direction and was just about to brush the noise off as ‘one of those noises that just happens when you live in a house with nine other girls’ when she noticed Chloe’s shoulders shaking slightly and realized the noise was sniffling. Chloe was crying.

Beca was still for a moment. She didn’t quite know what to do. Sure she had seen Chloe cry in the past, a few of those times she was even able to move past her natural awkwardness and comfort her like a normal person, but all of those times Beca had at least some idea of why she was crying. Could have at least traced it back to one of a few things, but this time she was at a total loss.

After a brief moment of internal debate, she went with the one thing she knew. The one thing that was a surefire way to cure anything that ailed one Chloe Eliza Beale. Cuddles.

Beca slowly scooted the very small distance between them and wrapped her arm around Chloe’s waist, holding her tight. Chloe, startled by the movement, jumped, before whispering into the darkness as she relaxed back against Beca.

“I hope I didn’t wake you. I’m sorry if I did.”

“Hey, it’s ok. I don’t know what woke me honestly.”

Seeming happy with the answer, Chloe snuggled in tighter to Beca.

After a few moments of lying there holding her friend, Beca broke the silence.

“Chloe, will you please tell me what’s wrong? And don’t say that you’re fine again. You’ve been saying that all day and it’s obviously not true.” Beca said as she brought the arm that had been wrapped around Chloe, up to the redhead’s cheek and wiped a tear away with the pad of her thumb.

Chloe sighed deeply. “No, I’m not ok.”

Beca waited for Chloe to continue and when she didn’t, said “You know you can talk to me about anything right?”

“I know.” Chloe said with a small sad smile “It’s just really hard.”

“What is?” Beca asked.

“It’s just your whole job thing.”

“What about it?” The longer this conversation went on, the more lost Beca was getting.

Chloe sighed again. Beca had come leaps and bounds from the closed off girl she had been freshmen year, but sometimes she still needed thing spelled out for her.

“I dunno. I guess, ever since I met you, I just always pictured us living close to each other and being really involved in each other’s lives, but now you’re moving to LA to follow your dreams. Which is totes great, don’t get me wrong, but I’m staying here and I guess I just wish I was going to be there to see your success happen first hand.”

Beca blew out the breath she had been holding. Everything had been happening so fast, she hadn’t really had time to stop and think. Any time she thought about her future she had always seen Chloe right there by her side. In fact, she couldn’t actually think of any good scenario where Chloe wasn’t there.

“Come with me.”

Beca jumped at the sound of her own voice, she hadn’t meant to say anything.

“What?” Chloe asked as she rolled over onto her back, so she could look at Beca with wide eyes.

“Come with me to LA.” She said again, quickly realizing that even though she hadn’t meant to say it, she did actually mean it. Maybe more than she had ever meant anything in her whole life.

“Beca.” Chloe said, her voice taking on a stern tone, “Now is not the time to joke with me.”

“No, Chloe I’m serious. Come with me. Move to LA with me. We can share a place until you find a teaching job, and even after that if you want. The studio will be paying for my house for the first two years of my contract, so that’ll give us time to get on our feet.” Beca said like it was the simplest concept in the world, which when she thought about it, it kind of was.

Chloe looked at Beca hard for a solid minute, as if trying to make sure she could really believe what she was hearing.

“Beca, you haven’t even had time to think about this.” Chloe said, finally breaking the silence.

“What’s to think about?” Beca came back immediately.

“You’re sure this is what you want?” Chloe asked, the first hesitant notes of hope, sounding in her voice.

“My God woman!” Beca said in mock exasperation, but with a smile on her face. “Yes Chloe, I’m sure. Please come to LA with me.” Beca took a deep breath before adding, her voice much softer, the teasing tone she had had a moment before gone. “It just wouldn’t be right without you there anyway.”

Chloe, having apparently heard what she needed to make her decision, squealed in excitement and pulled Beca in tight against her chest in a bone crushing hug.

Beca laughed while shushing Chloe, as excited as she herself was about the decision, she did not want to have to deal with a cranky, freshly woken Australian this late at night.

 


	2. Chapter 2

Six months later

Beca sat in front of her laptop in her home office going over a track that she had just finished mixing, when she heard the piercing sound of the landline telephone ringing. She pulled her headphones off her ears, letting them rest around her neck. Like always, she didn’t make any move to pick the phone up, knowing that the answering machine would click on after a few rings and if it was important she could grab it then.

Beca honestly thought it was ridiculous that they even had a landline. She and Chloe both had cell phones and anyone who knew them at all, knew that was the best way to reach them, but Chloe had insisted on the home phone service.

She had made all kinds of arguments for it, ranging from the zombie apocalypse, to an EMP, a weaponized electromagnetic pulse Beca found out after a quick google search, that could potentially knock out all cell service, to a simple power outage. Beca was quick to remind Chloe that if any of those things happened, the landline wouldn’t work either, but Chloe had persisted, finally getting around to the real reason she wanted the service. Saying, with a sparkle in her bright blue eyes, “But Becs, if we get a landline, we can record one of those joint answering machine messages. It’ll be an awesome start to our new life out here in LA.”  After that, how could Beca say no?

On the fourth ring Beca heard the click of the machine picking up and smiled as Chloe’s clear voice filled the room.

“Hi you’ve reached Chloe and Beca we’re not home right now, but leave us a message and we’ll get back to you as soon as we can.”

Beca rolled her eyes at the automated voice that began to play through the machine. It was saying something about winning a cruise and she reached over to press the button on the machine that would disconnect the call before it was finished.

The distraction of the phone ringing had broken the flow Beca was in with the track she was working on and she decided to take a much needed break. She made her way down hall and into the kitchen and as she reached to open the fridge, to grab a coke, she noticed a hot pink sticky note right next to the handle. It read ‘I know you’re probably in “your zone” but that doesn’t mean you should forget to eat. There’s a ham sandwich in here with your name on it.’. Beca smiled as she opened the fridge and found, as promised, a ham sandwich in a plastic baggie, with another sticky note attached to it that had “Beca” written in Chloe’s messy scrawl.

Beca figured now was as good a time as any to break for lunch, so she pulled the sandwich and a coke out of the fridge and sat down at the kitchen island. She stuck the note with her name on it to the bottom of the one that had been on the door of the refrigerator and took the sandwich out of the bag.

As she settled in to eat, she let her mind wander to Chloe and the time since they had moved in together.

* * *

 

The last six months had been a whirlwind of activity and had had more ups and downs than one of those jerky carnival roller coasters that always made at least three people puke before the ride was over. 

Beca’s career had gotten off to a rocky start, as she was cursed with, what Chloe called, producer’s block. Beca didn’t like Chloe’s term much and insisted on calling it her fucktarded brain just being a fucking fucktard. To which Chloe would always respond by pulling Beca in for a tight hug and quietly reminding her, exactly, how wonderful she was, until Beca was calm enough to take another whack at the song she was working on. Beca’s producer’s block ended soon enough and as her career started to take off, it quickly became her turn to comfort Chloe.

Chloe had started submitting applications for teaching positions before they even got to LA. Every grade school within a thirty-mile radius of their new house got an application, a resume, and a personalized cover letter and one by one each of them responded by sending a variation of the same letter. The one that starts out by saying ‘Thank you for your interest in this position’ and ends with a nice way of saying ‘We don’t want you’.

After the first few denials Chloe was fine. She knew she was fresh out of college and had no experience. She never expected to have schools beating down their door to hire her, that’s why she put so many applications out there. What she did expect however, was for at least one or two to be mildly interested, or to at the very least call her in for an interview.

The day Chloe received her eighth rejection letter, Beca came home to find her best friend and roommate, on the couch, wrapped in blankets, a half empty carton of ice cream in her lap, watching reality TV.

“Rough day?” Beca had asked as she kicked her shoes off and tossed her keys onto the table by the door.

Chloe nodded, never taking her eyes off the TV.

“Wanna talk about it?” Beca asked.

Chloe shook her head.

Beca knew how to deal with Chloe in almost all of her moods, she had had years of practice, but the one that was always hardest for her was silent Chloe. The vibrant redhead, with the piercing blue stare, was just not meant to be quiet and when she was, it was sort of unnerving. Although Beca had learned a long time ago that if she just went with it, eventually Chloe would open up and start talking. So Beca walked into the kitchen, grabbed a spoon and parked herself on the couch next to Chloe, helping herself to a large spoonful of ice cream. She pulled up the Pizza Hut app on her phone, ordered Chloe’s favorite pizza and some wings and then settled in to watch mind numbingly stupid reality TV with her favorite redhead.

An hour, a carton of ice cream, half a pizza, and one and a half episodes of America’s Next Top Bachelor Hoarder Interventions, or whatever, later, Chloe finally spoke, her voice soft and gravelly from disuse.

“What’s wrong with me?”

“Nothing. You’re amazing.” Beca replied automatically around a mouth full of pizza.

Chloe tried to flash Beca a smile, but it ended up looking more like a grimace, as she said

“Thanks Becs, but every school in the county seems to disagree with you.”

“Oh.” Beca said, the problem finally dawning on her.

“Yeah.” Chloe said sadly.

Beca put her plate and half eaten slice of pizza down on the coffee table and pulled Chloe into her side, wrapping her arms firmly around her best friend’s shoulders.

“You” Beca said against the top of Chloe’s fiery red head “are amazing, and I don’t care what any school in this county, or any other says. They would all be lucky to have you.”

Beca felt Chloe smile against her shoulder and continued.

“You are the most wonderful, caring, loving person I have ever met and you will be an incredible teacher. I mean you kept the Bella’s in line for three years and I know they were harder to deal with than a bunch of seven year olds. Well maybe not if the seven-year olds were drunk…” Beca trailed off as she heard Chloe laugh lightly.

“But what if I don’t find a teaching position?” Chloe asked after a moment of silence, the question muffled by Beca’s shirt.

“So what if you don’t? No big deal. The label is paying for the house for another year and a half, and even after that I make more than enough to keep us going until you do find something. Besides I bet all those schools that turned you down were just not the right place for you. The right one will come along.” Beca said with a sure tone and a smile.

Chloe sat up to look Beca in the face “Beca, I sent out ten applications. Eight have already rejected me, including the performing arts school that I really wanted. Statistically it doesn’t look good.”

Beca picked her plate back up off the coffee table and took a bite of her, now, cold pizza, before saying with a shrug. “I failed math.”

Chloe let out a burst of laughter and gave Beca a playful shove before saying, with a twinkle in her eye. “Weirdo.”

Beca grinned at Chloe triumphantly and took another bite of pizza, as Chloe shook her head and settled back in to finish the show, now in a much better mood.

* * *

 

When they had first moved to L.A. there were movie and TV nights cuddled up on the couch, lunches at the kitchen island and lots of together time in general, but as they both got busier in their jobs, Chloe ended up getting the teaching job at the performing arts school that she had really wanted, after the person they had originally chosen for the job backed out, those tapered off. Even so they always tried to make time to have dinner together. When they couldn’t for some reason, the one who had worked late would always come home to a plate wrapped up and in the fridge and as that had started to happen more and more often, they had implemented mandatory Monday night “date nights”, as Chloe called them. Which always earned an eye roll from Beca. They would have dinner and talk about their previous weeks and basically catch up on everything they had missed in each other’s lives.

As they saw each other less and less, they had even taken to communicating via sticky notes around the house. It had started out with Chloe leaving notes about things Beca needed to remember. Things like: ‘Pick up milk on the way home from the studio’, ‘You have a dentist appointment tomorrow afternoon. They called to confirm and I told them you’d be there. Don’t make a liar out of me’, ‘I’m chaperoning a dance tonight and won’t be home till late. Don’t wait up.’, but it quickly evolved into more than just reminders.

The evolution started with little things. ‘Have a good day at work’ stuck to Beca’s bathroom mirror, ‘I forgot to say it, but you looked nice yesterday’ stuck on Chloe’s closet door, ‘You know you get cranky if you don’t eat, I left a muffin in the fridge for you’ stuck to the coffee maker.

It wasn’t long before there were entire sticky note conversations stuck around the house. They would jot notes or compliments to one another and leave them in a place the other would be sure to see them, and then come home later to find a reply note in place of their original note.

What really struck Beca, about the notes and her friendship with Chloe in general, was the domesticity of it all. She had spent her whole adult life running from people and shutting them out, but one glance, from a nutty redhead was all it took, even though she’d never admit it out loud, to break down every one of her walls and achieve a level of comfort she never thought she’d have with anyone. 

Beca was still lost in her thoughts and halfway through the sandwich, mid chew, when a thought struck her with what felt like an almost physical force. This, what she had with Chloe, was what she had always pictured married life being like.

She quickly swallowed the bite of sandwich that was threatening to fall out of her open mouth as she tried to wrap her brain around what she had just thought.

“No that’s ridiculous” Beca finally said out loud to the empty kitchen “being married is so much more, you take care of each other.”

 ‘Check’ a little voice in the back of her mind said as she looked down at the sandwich Chloe had made for her.

“No it’s more than that too, you have to be wholly devoted to the other person”

‘She moved across the country to be with you and you are more comfortable with her than you have ever been with anyone… ever. Check again’ the little voice replied.

“No it’s even more than that. This is stupid. You have to be in love.” Beca said again, starting to feel a little silly for arguing out loud with her own brain.

‘The biggest check of all’ a little voice from the farthest, darkest corner of Beca’s mind said softly.

“Shit.” Beca said aloud.


	3. Chapter 3

Beca had been pacing the floor of her office for the last forty-five minutes. 'How could this have happened?' She asked herself. 'Things like falling in love with your best friend don't happen to real people. Those are tropes used for cheesy TV shows and rom-coms, not things that happen to real flesh and blood humans' she admonished herself.

Finally, tired of pacing she sat down hard in her swivel chair. 'I'm so royally screwed' she thought as she leaned forward resting her elbows on her desk in front of her monitor. As she tried to make some sense of the jumbled thoughts racing through her head, at a mile a second, the bright pink sticky note that she had taped to the side of her monitor caught her attention and she read it, for what seemed like the millionth time. 'If you get bogged down just remember you are my Beca effin Mitchell and you can do anything you set your mind to.'

Beca re-read it three times. Each time, one word catching her troubled mind, "my".

"MY Beca effin Mitchell." She finally said out loud.

'Could it be?' She thought. Her forebrain immediately responded that 'no, of course it couldn't' while that same little voice in the back of her mind, that she had been arguing with earlier said 'now you're starting to get it'.

Beca began to think back over the years she had known Chloe. She thought about how Chloe had constantly stood up for her to Aubrey, her very own best friend, that first year as a Bella. She thought about how Chloe had said they would be fast friends on that first hood night. She thought about the shower incident and about all the cuddles they had shared over the years.

At the time, Beca had just chalked it up to Chloe being a super affectionate and touchy person, but the more she thought about it, she realized that she had never seen Chloe be that affectionate with any of the other Bella's. She had never seen, or heard, of her crawling into bed with any of them when she had had an off day, or cuddling with them on the couch during Bella's movie nights, or telling them that she wished she had experimented more in college, Beca thought, as she felt a blush start to creep up her neck.

The more Beca thought about it, watching moments between her and Chloe replay in her mind like a movie, the more sure she became. Chloe was in love with her too.

Beca jumped up from her desk chair, so fast, she sent it rolling across the room where it hit the wall on the other side with a dull thump. She rubbed her forehead as she began pacing again.

"God! How could I not have seen it? All these years she's been in love with me, and I never saw it." She said to her empty office.

'Don't forget you're in love with her too.' The little voice in the back of her head reminded her.

"Yes I know." She snapped.

"This is ridiculous." She said out loud for what felt like the tenth time in the last hour. Resolved to stop arguing with the various little voices in her head, Beca grabbed her chair from the other side of the room and sat back down in front of her monitor. Pulling up a browser window as soon as she was settled. She had some planning to do.

* * *

One month later

Beca was sitting in her office at the label, listening to an insanely boring tele-conference, that she wasn't even sure why she had been asked to be a part of, when she felt her phone buzz in her pocket. She hit the mute button on her desk phone and pulled her cell out, quickly swiping the screen to open up her messages.

Chloe: It's Monday! :)

Beca smiled and quickly shot a text back.

Me: Thanks for the update.

Her phone buzzed a few seconds later.

Chloe: Seriously Becs? :(

Beca laughed brightly and typed back.

Me: Relax Beale, I was just messing with you. ;P I'll meet you at the restaurant at 7.

Beca's phone buzzed again 'Damn, how does she type so fast?' She wondered idly to herself.

Chloe: You better be Mitchell, you scared me there for a second! :) I might be a few minutes late, because of the play, but I'll be there as soon as I can.

Me: Sounds good!

Beca fired off the last quick text, before putting her phone back in her pocket, and starting the process of being worried about, and excited for the evening, all over again.

Over the last month Beca had tried many times to tell Chloe how she felt. She had cooked special surprise dinners three times, complete with all of Chloe's favorite foods, flowers and candles on the table, but all three times Chloe had ended up having to work late grading assignments, or had to cover some school event for another teacher. There were also the plays and choir concerts that Chloe had volunteered to supervise, that kept her out late almost every night. The only time that Beca could actually count on seeing Chloe, without making a big deal out of the whole thing, was on their Monday night "date-nights". So she quickly set to planning the best damn date-night she could think of.

It had taken her over two weeks to get everything completely done. She had made reservations at Chloe's favorite fancy restaurant. Saying something obtuse about a bonus, when Chloe asked why they were going so fancy. Thankfully Chloe had accepted the explanation with no further questions.

Beca had special ordered a bouquet of all of Chloe's favorite flowers, that would be ready to pick up on her way to the restaurant. She even went as far as contacting the chef and asking for a custom menu.

The only thing Beca had not planned, was what she was going to say. She knew she wasn't very good with expressing her emotions, but she also knew that she was even worse with pre-planned speeches. When speaking from her heart she might stumble and fumble with the words, but when reading a speech, she always managed to make it sound like she was quoting a math text book, no matter how emotional the words were supposed to be. So in the end she just decided to fumble her way through it and hope that sitting there, staring into Chloe's crystal blue eyes, would help her find the perfect words, or that at least Chloe would find her stuttering charming.

* * *

The rest of Beca's day had flown by. Between trying to devote enough brain power to her work tasks and trying not to have a complete meltdown, whether from excitement or worry she wasn't sure, Beca didn't even have a bit of attention to give to clock watching.

She was sitting in one of the private dining rooms at the restaurant at six forty-five anxiously awaiting Chloe. Despite not wanting to plan out what she was going to say, she couldn't help but think about it a little. She kept trying opening statements, whispering them out into the quiet room.

"Chloe, we need to talk." Beca laughed at herself. She really was bad at this. She was trying to confess her love to Chloe not break up with her. She tried again.

"Hey Chlo. So, I've been thinking." Better, she thought, but still not good. That one made it sound like she wanted to get a dog or a new microwave or something.

"Can I talk to you about something, Chlo?" Getting there, she thought, resting her elbows on the table and tapping her chin thoughtfully with her index finger.

"Chloe, I have something I'd like to talk to you about." Bingo, Beca thought. It was equal parts emotional and serious, but not so somber that it would make Chloe think there was something wrong, at least she hoped. With her opening out of the way, she went back to nervously fidgeting while waiting for Chloe.

* * *

The door to the private dining room opened and Beca jumped up so quickly she knocked her chair over. It wasn't until she was trying to decide whether to greet Chloe or pick up the chair first that she realized it was just the waiter coming to check on her. She sighed in relief and flushed in embarrassment at the same time, before ordering a glass of wine and telling the waiter that, other than that, she was fine.

When the waiter left, Beca looked at her watch. It was seven fifteen. It looked like Chloe was, in fact going to be late. She settled back in to wait, and only jumped a little when the waiter came back with her wine.

* * *

Beca had waited until eight thirty before she had given up hope, sent Chloe a quick text saying just to meet her at home, and left the restaurant. She had tried to call Chloe but the call went straight to voicemail. Which wasn't terribly surprising, Chloe was horrible at remembering to turn her phone back on after school events.

Beca wanted to be mad, really, really mad in fact, but she knew that wasn't fair. Yes, Monday nights were their night, but there had been a few occasions in the past that one or the other of them had to cancel, and Chloe had no reason to believe that this Monday night was any different than any other.

Chloe probably had an issue with a student and just couldn't get away. Although it would have to be a pretty serious issue for her to no show and not call. Beca pushed the thought away, she was determined to do this tonight. She'd just tell Chloe when she got home, it wasn't the most romantic way to do it, but the way the universe seemed to be stacking the deck against her lately, it seemed to be the only way to actually get it accomplished. Plus, Beca wasn't sure she could take the anticipation much longer.

Beca got home just before nine. She walked in, kicked her shoes off, arranged the flowers on the coffee table, grabbed two glasses, a bottle of red wine, set them all out, and decided to wait right there until Chloe got home.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ********Please read**********
> 
> AN: Hey guys. First off thank you all for your kind reviews! I'm glad everybody seems to be enjoying everything so far!
> 
> On this chapter though, I wanted to throw up a SERIOUS ANGST WARNING.
> 
> So far everything has been pretty fluffy, but I promised angst and this is the chapter that starts to make good on that promise. This one is going to hurt bad, but if you'll stick with me to the end I promise it will be worthwhile.
> 
> TL:DR: Serious angst warning ahead.
> 
> Submitted for your approval…

Beca woke to someone pounding on the front door. She sat up and rubbed at her eyes. A quick glance at her watch told her it was after eleven. She stood up and started walking to the entry way and suddenly started laughing. She had figured it out. Chloe must have lost her keys and spent all that time looking for them and then had a coworker bring her home, when she couldn't find them. It wasn't the first time it had happened.

Her smile grew as she reached the door and threw it wide open.

"You know you could have just called me; this is why I have a spare…"

Beca's words died in her throat and the smile fell from her face, as she saw two police officers standing at her front door.

"Hello Officers." She finally said once she could get her voice working again.

"Hello Ma'am." The taller blonde officer said and quickly added, "Is this the home of Chloe Beale?"

"Yes." Beca responded hesitantly.

"Are you a family member?" The shorter, dark haired, officer asked.

"Basically, I'm Beca Mitchell, her best friend, and roommate. Why?" Beca asked.

In her freshly woken state, she couldn't fathom what would cause two cops to show up at their house at this hour, asking questions about Chloe.

"I'm Officer Janes and this is Officer Allen. May we come in please?" The blonde asked.

"Oh. Yeah sure, come in." Beca said ushering them in. Once they were all standing awkwardly in the living room Beca asked "Can you please tell me what this is all about?"

"Maybe you should sit down." Officer Allen said, his voice soft.

"No, I'm fine. Thank you. Can you please just tell me what is going on?" Beca asked, starting to get extremely unsettled by the whole thing.

Officer Janes sighed. "I'm sorry to inform you of this Ms. Mitchell, but Ms. Beale was in a car accident tonight."

"WHAT?" Beca screamed, cutting Officer Janes off, "Where is she? What hospital? I need to get to her now!"

The officers exchanged a sad look before Officer Janes spoke again, "I'm sorry Ms. Mitchell but Ms. Beale didn't make it. She was killed on impact and pronounced dead on the scene."

Beca suddenly felt like she was underwater. Her vision swam, and even though she could see the Officer's lips still moving, she couldn't hear anything except the rushing of her own blood in her ears. She wasn't even aware that she had fallen down, until she felt rough hands gently pulling her back up and guiding her over to the couch.

The officers sat down next to her. She heard snippets of their questions. "Are you ok?" "Do you need us to call an ambulance?" "Is there anyone we can call?"

Beca brushed all their questions off, managing to get out that she would be fine, and thanking them for their concern. Her voice sounded far away and foreign to her own ears, almost like hearing an old recording of yourself. You know it's your own voice, but something about it just doesn't sound right.

The officers told her that they would contact Chloe's family in the morning, and to call if she needed anything. She thanked them and watched, from the couch, as they walked out of the house.

* * *

Beca woke to her phone ringing. She stretched and sat up. She didn't remember falling asleep or why she had done it on the couch instead of in her bed, but as she grabbed her phone and saw "Momma Beale" scrolling across the caller id, everything came crashing back down on her. Chloe was… No, she couldn't even think it.

She swiped the screen to answer the call and pressed the phone to her ear.

"Hello?" She said weekly.

"Beca, sweetie…" Was all Momma Beale was able to get out before the tears, that had cracked those two words, took over her voice altogether.

"I'm so sorry Momma Beale." Beca whispered into the phone before her own tears stole her voice.

Most of the few minutes the two women were on the phone were spent sobbing to each other. Momma Beale, in the moments she could actually speak, promised that she and Papa Beale would book a flight out as soon as possible, and would email all their travel details, also that Beca should call if she needed anything. Beca responded as much as she could, before they disconnected the call with a warm, teary goodbye.

Beca laid down on the couch on her side. She knew that any "arrangements" were up to her. When Chloe and she had moved to LA, because neither one of them had family in the area, they had both signed durable power of attorneys, each leaving the other in charge of their affairs, in case of something catastrophic. The more she thought about it, the more her mind resisted. If she had to make "arrangements" that meant that Chloe was… no… She still couldn't bring herself to even think it.

Beca did the only thing she could think of, she picked up her phone, found the name she was looking for and touched it to dial. The phone rang twice and then it was answered.

"Aubrey Posen."

"Bree, I need you."

"Beca, what's wrong?" Aubrey asked, the worry immediately clear in her high voice.

"It's Chloe…" Beca's words cut off as she let out a strangled sob.

Aubrey took a deep breath and asked very calmly "Beca, what's wrong with Chloe?"

Beca struggled to get her breathing under control, and when she was somewhat successful answered, her voice broken. "There was an accident. She… She didn't…"

As Beca's sobs broke free again, she heard a sharp gasp from the other end of the phone and what sounded like glass breaking.

"Beca are you saying that Chloe is…"

"Yes." Beca choked out on a sob, cutting Aubrey off.

"Oh, God!" Aubrey said after a moment, the tears obvious in her own voice.

"Bree, I'm supposed to take care of… everything and I don't know what to do. I'm so lost. Please help me. I don't… I can't…" Beca pleaded with broken words, between sobs.

Aubrey took a few deep breaths to calm herself. She felt almost as broken as Beca sounded, but if there was one thing she knew, it was control, and there was no doubt in her mind, now was not the time to lose it. Her voice had just a hint of tears when she finally spoke.

"Of course Beca. I'll let all the other Bella's know and get the first flight out. I'll text you the details. Are you going to be ok until I get there?"

"I think so." Beca said weekly.

"OK. I'll let you know when I'll be in, as soon as I do. Call me if you need anything. Do you understand me?" The tone in Aubrey's voice made it clear this was a command not a request.

"Yes," Beca said, before quickly adding. "Thank you Bree."

"You're welcome sweetie. I'll be in touch." With that, Aubrey disconnected the call and Beca was left alone in her and Chloe's house, with nothing but the sound of her own sobs.

* * *

Aubrey had gotten into town just a few short hours later, and after looking at the living will Chloe had had the good sense to make, immediately started making arrangements. In her will, Chloe had left instructions to be cremated and also that there was not to be a big funeral, she wanted a small simple gathering where people who knew and loved her could share memories.

In just a few hours Aubrey already had arrangements made with the funeral home, the florist, the caterer, and a few others.

Beca hadn't left the couch. Her head was filled with white noise and her limbs all felt too heavy to move.

"BECA!"

Beca jerked her eyes away from the wilting flowers that were still sitting on the coffee table, to find Aubrey kneeling in front of her, her green eyes dark with concern.

"Sorry, what?" Beca asked in a soft monotone.

"I asked if you were ok." Aubrey said softly.

"Oh… yeah… fine." Beca replied automatically in the same monotone. Her eyes slowly drifted away from the blonde in front of her, back to the flowers that had been meant for Chloe.

"Beca please look at me." Aubrey asked softening her tone even more.

The effort it took to look away from the flowers again was almost more than Beca could bear, but hearing the pleading tone in Aubrey's voice, she slowly did as she was asked.

When Aubrey was sure she had Beca's attention she spoke again.

"When was the last time you ate?"

"I… I don't know."

"Have you had anything to drink recently?" Aubrey asked.

"I'm not sure... I don't think so." Beca replied, her voice sounding tiny and weak.

Aubrey's heart broke at the sound of the snarky, badass DJ, who had made most of her senior year at Barden a living hell, sounding so small and broken. She swallowed hard against the sob that had been trying to tear its way out of her chest all day, and was finally able to say

"If I make you a sandwich, will you eat?"

Beca nodded weakly, as her eyes drifted back to the flowers on the table.

It wasn't the absolute yes that Aubrey was looking for, but she'd take it. She stood up, squeezed Beca's shoulder and quickly made her way into the kitchen.

Aubrey was back in just a few minutes with two sandwiches and two cokes. She set Beca's on the coffee table in front of her and sat down on the couch, putting her own plate on her lap. When Beca made no move to reach for the plate, Aubrey placed her own lunch aside and slowly reached forward, grabbing Beca's plate, gently placing it in her lap.

"Huh?" Beca said, startled by the movement.

"Your sandwich." Aubrey replied quietly, pointing at the plate now sitting in the younger woman's lap.

Beca glanced down to her lap and for a moment looked like she had no idea what the sandwich was, or where it had come from, but she caught up quickly and looked up at Aubrey with something that the blonde was pretty sure was meant to be a smile. Even if it did look more like a grimace. Aubrey returned the smile, picked her own plate back up and took a bite of her sandwich, hoping it would prompt Beca to do the same. She smiled when it worked.

They ate in companionable silence and when they had both finished their sandwiches, Aubrey took their plates into the kitchen. She came back and sat down next to Beca, popping the top on her untouched soda can and handing it to her.

Beca gave another smile grimace and took a few sips of the Coke before resting it against her thigh and staring off into space again.

"Beca?" Aubrey said gently. When she didn't get a response, she tried saying her name a little stronger. When she still got nothing, she softly laid her hand on the smaller woman's shoulder and said quietly "Becs."

At that Beca turned to look at her once nemesis, but now longtime friend.

"Beca, sweetie, please talk to me. I need to know that you're ok, at least as ok as you can be right now."

Beca stared blankly at Aubrey for a moment before looking back at the flowers.

Aubrey was at a loss, she had never seen Beca this emotional and had no idea how to deal with it. That had always been Chloe's department.

She took Beca's soda can and put it back on the coffee table. She was just about to get up and start trying to busy herself with something else, thinking she would come back later and try again, when Beca pointed at the flowers and spoke softly.

"Those were for her, you know."

Aubrey sighed softly in relief, before saying.

"They're very pretty." She hoped it would be enough to keep Beca talking.

Beca nodded and after another moment said.

"I was going to tell her that I'm in love with her last night."

Aubrey froze. She, just like all of the other Bella's, had known that the two women were madly in love with each other for years. She also knew that Chloe had known she was in love with Beca, but she had no idea that the dense little DJ had finally figured it out.

"I've been trying to tell her for a while now, but it never worked out. Last night I made reservations at her favorite restaurant, even had them prepare a special menu." Beca continued in the same weak monotone she had been using all day, tears streaming steadily down her cheeks as she spoke. "She didn't show up and I thought she got caught up with the play, but then I came home and fell asleep and then the police showed up…" Beca opened and closed her mouth a few times, as if she was trying to find more words, but was coming up short, before her tears finally turned to sobs and she couldn't speak anymore.

Aubrey pulled Beca into her side and wrapped her arms tightly around her. She could feel the smaller woman's body shaking against her own and finally let some of her own tears begin to fall, as she whispered "I'm so sorry." Over and over, into chestnut hair.

* * *

The funeral was a simple affair. It was held in Beca and Chloe's house and Chloe's family, Beca's mom and dad, all of the Bella's, and a few of Chloe's friends from work were all there. They all gathered in the living room around the bright blue urn that held Chloe's remains, and the picture display that Aubrey had created, that showed pictures from the time Chloe was a baby, to a selfie of her and Beca at the beach that had been taken just a few months before. They all told stories about times that had been spent with Chloe. Some were funny. Some were sad and some were simply memories that would never be forgotten.

Beca talked with everybody, would laugh at the funny stories, cry softly when things turned sadder, and to anyone who wasn't looking too close, seemed to be coping pretty well.

The truth was, though, that Beca was not coping well at all. She went back and forth from completely numb, to the worst pain she had ever known. The woman who she had come to think of as her life, was gone. Really gone, and Beca had no idea what to do. So she did what she had always done best. She put on a brave face for everyone else and withdrew into her head.

Sometimes she would try to relive some of the happier memories she had of Chloe, but that usually just made her hurt worse, so she would shut down and do the mental equivalent of staring off into space. She walked around with what felt like white noise taking over her brain. What is left for you when the place you withdraw to is shut down?

* * *

Most of Chloe's family only stayed for the day of the funeral. Mamma and Papa Beale were there for two days, and most of the Bella's for four. Aubrey outstayed them all at a week, but Beca finally convinced her to go home, saying that she would be fine and promising that if she wasn't, Aubrey would be the first person she would call.

When Aubrey left, finally alone in the house, Beca pressed her back into the door and stared into the living room. The flowers she had bought for Chloe had long since been thrown away, but Beca could still see them sitting there on the table. She rubbed her eyes and walked into the kitchen, sat down at the center island and dropped her head into her hands. She had thought that finally having some peace and quiet would do her good, but it was very quickly proving to do the opposite.

She absentmindedly picked up the block of bright green sticky notes, the pen lying next to it and got up, automatically walking down the hall to her bedroom. She opened the door and walked in, sitting down on her bed.

She looked around the room and was surprised to find that things looked different. It took her a moment to realize that the reason things looked strange was because she had walked, not into her own room, but Chloe's.

She looked to the dresser where Aubrey had placed the bright blue urn that held Chloe's ashes, shortly after the funeral was over, and her heart broke all over again. She had thought she was completely cried out, but hot tears began to roll down her cheeks as they had so many times over the past two weeks.

Needing to do something to try and ease the tears that were threatening to become sobs, Beca scrawled a quick note on the block of sticky notes in her hand, walked over, stuck it to the closet door and then fell back into Chloe's bed clutching a pillow, that still smelled like her lost love, to her chest. She stared at the words she had written, now pasted to the door across the room, and quickly fell into a tearful, restless sleep, the phrase she had written invading her dreams.

I miss you.

* * *

The next morning Beca woke, sore and still tired from the tossing and turning of her nightmare filled sleep. She took a moment to glance around the room and her eyes were immediately drawn to the sticky note she had pasted to Chloe's closet door the previous night. She quickly found that seeing the bright green paper, standing out against the gentle lavender of the walls made her feel a tiny bit better. It was like, even though Chloe was gone, she was in some way still able to talk to her.

She sat up, threw off the blankets and grabbed her block of notes off the night side table. She quickly wrote 'I don't know what to do', peeled it off and stuck it to the closet door under the one she had stuck there the night before.

She stared at it for a moment as if she was expecting a pink answering note to magically pop up underneath it. She shook her head; this was getting her nowhere fast. She shouldn't be shutting down, she should be doing what every single person who she had spoken to had told her to do, since Chloe had… since she had been gone, and just try to remember the good times they had. Cherish the memories.

That thought led to another and before she knew it, she was writing out everything she could remember about their first meeting on the sticky notes. Peeling each one off as she filled it up and sticking it to the bottom of the previous. She wrote to Chloe, as if she was simply recounting the events to her.

When she was done she stuck the string of notes up on the closet, next to the two that were already there, and stood back looking at them. For the first time in what felt like months, but was actually only two weeks, she smiled.


	5. Chapter 5

Two and a half months later

Beca had made it her personal mission to document every single memory she had of Chloe, and every one of the vibrant redhead's characteristics. She had written thousands of sticky notes that were all stuck to the walls and furniture in Chloe's bedroom. The once light lavender walls and dark wood surfaces, were now all roughly papered in green notes and black ink, all except for a small spot near the ceiling in the very back of the room.

Beca was just climbing up the ladder, with a stack of written notes in her hand, to paper the last spot, when she heard her cell phone ring. She quickly climbed back down the ladder, put the notes on the bed and grabbed her phone. She groaned when she saw Jessica's name scrolling across the caller ID. She let the call go to voice mail and fired off a quick text.

Me: Sorry, in the studio today. Can't talk. What's up?

She felt bad lying to her friend and fellow Bella, but it couldn't be helped. She still had work to do. There were still so many memories, so much of Chloe, that she had yet to capture. Things that absolutely could not be forgotten. She didn't have time to do anything else, and there was no way Jessica or any of the Bella's would understand.

Her phone buzzed in her hand and she looked down.

Jessica: Oh. Ashley and I are in town. We were hoping we could meet up and maybe get coffee or dinner or something.

Beca sighed, she had fielded similar messages from most of the Bella's over the last two months, always politely rejecting them under the guise of work. She quickly text back.

Me: Oh man, that does sound like fun, but I'm super swamped right now. Can I get a rain-check for next time you're in town?

The reply came almost immediately.

Jessica: Of course. :)

Beca breathed a sigh of relief and tossed her phone on to Chloe's bed, grabbed the notes and made her way back up the ladder.

When Beca was done placing the notes carefully on the wall, she climbed down the ladder and looked around. With the exception of the top of the dresser that held Chloe's urn, every possible surface was covered. She had a brief moment of panic when she realized there was no space for any more sticky notes, but quickly laughed at herself, realizing that even though she had started here, there was no reason her memories of Chloe had to be confined to this room. She opened the door, gave a sad but warm, lingering glance to the urn, as she did anytime she left the room, and walked out into the hall, and down to her own room to start the process of papering the walls with her love, over again.

* * *

Two months later (present day)

Beca was sitting on the floor in her office when she heard the landline telephone ring. Without much thought at all, she decided to ignore it. After a few rings, the answering machine clicked on and the message began to play. Chloe's bright voice filled the room.

"Hi you've reached Chloe and Beca we're not home right now, but leave us a message and we'll get back to you as soon as we can."

Beca heard the beep and then a beat of silence, before Stacie's voice rang out into the small room.

"Hi Beca, it's Stace. Are you really not home or are you just screening…? If you are home, please pick up."

Beca sat staring blankly at the blue flashing light on the machine, that indicated there was a message being recorded, but made no move to do anything about it.

After waiting a moment, Stacie, having done this enough times to know that Beca wouldn't pick up even if she was home, continued.

"OK I guess you're not there. Anyway, give me a call when you get this. We're all worried about you. Please just call and let us know you're alright, ok? Ok, Bye… Call me."

The room fell silent as the line went dead and Beca saw the blinking light on the machine turn from blue to red, indicating that there was now a new message waiting to be played. She sighed. She knew she should get up and shower, leave the house, see her friends, or at the very least grab the phone and call Stacie back, but as much as she tried to will her legs to stand, or her arms to reach for the phone, they simply would not.

She sighed again, frustrated at her own inability, and looked back down to the block of sticky notes sitting in front of her. She picked it up and wrote 'sparkling eyes' on the top note, before putting her pen down, peeling the note she had just written off the block and sticking it to the wall in front of her.

Beca had stopped answering the worried calls and texts from the Bella's a few weeks before. The more she told them she was fine, the more insistent they seemed to get that she wasn't, and quite frankly she didn't have time for it.

She had to write the story of her and Chloe's time together, while it was still at least relatively fresh in her mind. If she forgot one memory, one single detail of the woman she had lost before she had even really had, then all of her work would be for nothing. Everything her life had become, would be for nothing.

Beca wrote a note about how sometimes when Chloe's hair caught the light just right, it looked like fire dancing, and peeled it off the block, sticking it to the wall just under the one she had written about her sparkling eyes.

She had just put her pen to the paper to write a new note, when she heard her front door open and footsteps in the entry way.

Beca jumped up and ran down the hallway, she didn't know who had just come into the house, but she did know that, whoever it was, she didn't want them coming anywhere near her notes.

When she rounded the corner into the living room, she came face to face with a very concerned looking Aubrey.

"Aubrey, what the hell are you doing in my house?" She almost screamed.

"I'm here because…" Aubrey stopped as she got her first good look at Beca.

Her long brown hair was frazzled, greasy and looked to be almost matted up in places. She was wearing a t-shirt and a pair of sweat pants that had belonged to Chloe and were clearly long overdue for a wash.

Aubrey took a step toward the younger woman as she started to speak "Beca what is going on…" but stopped midsentence and quickly took a step back, covering her nose as she did.

"Beca, how long has it been since you showered?"

Beca crossed her arms over her chest defensively. "I dunno, a couple of days."

"God! It smells like it's been a couple of months."

"You still haven't answered my question." Beca came back snarkily.

"There'll be time to talk later, we need to get you cleaned up now. This isn't healthy."

Before Beca knew what was happening, Aubrey had grabbed her by the wrist and was leading her towards the hall. It took a moment to register what was going on, as soon as she did she started fighting Aubrey, trying to get her back out in to the living room, but it was too late.

Aubrey, wide eyed and slack jawed, looked around at the hallway that, like most of this part of the house, had been papered with bright green sticky notes.

"Beca, what is this?"

"Nothing. Just go back to the living room, I'll shower and then we can talk there." Beca said, her voice sounding panicked.

Aubrey, who was clearly ignoring Beca's request, continued walking down the hall, occasionally stopping to read a note or two along the way.

Beca watched nervously from the end of the hallway as Aubrey walked farther into the house, first into her bedroom, then back out and into her office and finally into Chloe's bedroom. She knew that there was no way Aubrey would understand what she was doing, and she was not looking forward to the conversation that was bound to follow.

After what felt like hours, but was only a few minutes, Aubrey walked back out into the hall and Beca hazarded a glance up at her face. There was a strange mix of shock, horror and sadness, playing over her sharp features.

"Beca, these are all notes to Chloe."

Beca nodded.

"Is this what you've been doing the last few months, when you told all of us that you've been too busy with work to see or talk to us?"

Another nod.

"Jesus Beca." Aubrey said quietly.

Feeling suddenly defiant, embarrassed and scared all at the same time, Beca spat.

"I don't have to explain myself to you Posen."

Beca saw anger flash in Aubrey's eyes, and then saw her take a deep breath, before speaking very carefully.

"Beca I am your friend and I love you. I've been worried sick about you. All of the Bella's have, and it seems we had cause to be. You won't see us, you won't take our calls, you've apparently been lying about working, and this, what you've been doing, is not healthy."

"And what do you know about healthy Aubrey? Hmmm? Thrown up on anybody lately?" Beca regretted the hateful words as soon as they were out of her mouth, but they were out there and the wounded look on Aubrey's face told her it was too late to take them back. So she stood her ground, crossed her arms defensively over her chest and screwed her face into an even more petulant sneer.

Aubrey desperately wanted to fire an equally scathing retort back at Beca, but not because she was angry. She was wounded by the cruel statement that had so casually been thrown at her, but she knew the woman in front of her was hurting, unstable and it really wasn't her fault. No, Aubrey wanted to shoot back because it was familiar. It was the kind of thing that senior Aubrey and freshman Beca would have done, and seeing her dear friend, obviously losing her mind, made Aubrey want to cling onto any familiar thing she could.

The truth was, Aubrey was out of her depth. Way out of her depth. While she herself wasn't, and probably wouldn't ever be, completely over Chloe's death, she had gone back home, back to her job, back to her friends and hobbies, back to her life. Aubrey had always seen Beca as being such a strong person and she couldn't fathom how Beca hadn't done the same.

Beca saw the muscles in Aubrey's jaw working as she gritted her teeth, and she braced herself for the nasty comment she knew she had coming. She was, however, surprised when Aubrey took a deep breath, rolled her shoulders to relax herself and said softly, gesturing to the papers on the wall with her hands.

"This is not what Chloe would want for you."

Beca's jaw fell slack in shock and she watched as Aubrey walked past her, giving her shoulder a gentle squeeze as she did. A moment later she heard footsteps in the entry way, and the front door opening and closing. Just like that, Aubrey was gone, and Beca was alone again.

* * *

Over the next few days Beca, as she continued papering the walls with her and Chloe's story, thought a lot about the words that Aubrey had left her with.

"This is not what Chloe would want for you."

At first Beca had balked at the statement. 'How the fuck does she know what Chloe would want anyway?' but the more she thought about it the more it made sense, and the more sense it made the more Beca began to truly believe it.

It wasn't long before every note she wrote and stuck to the walls left her feeling more guilty and more alone than she ever had. It felt almost like she was betraying Chloe's memory by trying to preserve it.

Beca shook her head hard. Her thoughts were jumbled and running faster than she could keep up. Chloe had always said that hot showers helped her clear her head, maybe she should try that. She jotted the thought about showers down onto a note, stuck it to the wall and got up off the floor.

She made her way into the bathroom, got undressed and stepped into the shower. She hadn't realized how tense she was until she felt her muscles start to relax, as the hot water ran over her shoulders and back.

She began to wash her body, being careful to avoid washing off as many ink stains as she could, and realized that Aubrey had been right once again, she did stink.

Beca sighed heavily and let her head rest against the shower wall. How had she come to this? She had become like one of those people on the terrible reality shows Chloe used to watch. Hoarders, Intervention? She couldn't really decide which one fit better. Hell, maybe both. Either way though, she remembered the things Chloe used to say about those people as she'd watch the shows. She was never mean about it, of course, but she would talk about how sorry she felt for the people, how they needed help, and how sad their lives must be.

All through getting cleaned up and dressed, Beca thought about what Chloe would say if she could see her now. When Chloe had been… Well, when she was still here, Beca had wanted many things from her: her companionship, her affection, her attention and most of all her love. The one thing she had never wanted though, was her pity, and Beca was reasonably certain that if Chloe were to walk through the door and see her right now, she would have the same look on her face that she did while watching those shows. She would think the same things about Beca, that she had thought about all those sad people.

Finally dressed in her own jeans and t-shirt, Beca walked into her bedroom, sat down, hard on the bed, bracing her elbows on her thighs and dropping her head into her hands.

When she had first started recording their story it had made her feel so close to Chloe. Each note she wrote made her feel like she was, somehow, able to talk to the bubbly redhead again, but now, even though she still felt the need to get their entire story on paper, it just made her feel guilty, sad and farther away from Chloe than she ever had. She had to stop. She knew that. What she didn't know was how.

* * *

Three hours later Beca sat on Chloe's bed, her elbows braced on her thighs, holding her block of green sticky notes and black pen loosely.

"You know; I've been thinking a lot about what Bree said, lately." She said aloud to the empty room. "And as much as I hate to admit it, the more I think about it, the more right I think she is. I know me agreeing with Bree at all is one for the record books." Beca could almost hear the laugh Chloe would have let fly if she had been there. "I don't think that you would want me to be here like this, writing notes that will never be answered, obsessing over things that can never be, at least not in this lifetime. I think that you would want me to be out living life and making music, even if it will only ever be you that I am making it for."

Beca paused as if she was waiting for Chloe to say something, or respond somehow, and maybe in a way she was, but as the silence grew heavier and started to press in around her she finally spoke again. "I love you Chlo. I always have and I always will. I'm just sorry I never got the chance to tell you, while it still counted for something."

A single tear rolled down Beca's cheek and onto the block of sticky notes in her hand, as she looked around the room one last time. Every single surface that could possibly hold a sticky note was covered, except for the top of the dresser that held Chloe's urn. Beca stood up, wrote one final note and stuck it to the dresser. Placing it right in front of the urn. As soon as she did, she kissed her fingers and laid them on top of the urn, whispering the words that the last tear stained note contained.

"I love you."


	6. Chapter 6

Beca had been lying in her own bed for over three hours. It was the middle of the night and she desperately wanted to sleep, but it seemed like the harder she tried, the more it evaded her. She had tried watching TV, reading and listening to music, but nothing was helping.

She remembered Chloe saying once that warm milk always helped her go to sleep when she was little, and without a thought Beca reached over to grab her block of sticky notes off her night stand, so she could get the memory down before she forgot. Not finding the ever present block of notes, she sat up to look for them and then remembered why they weren't there.

She cursed herself for being stupid and weak. She hadn't even made it six hours before her resolve had started to crumble. She felt hot, frustrated tears start to run down her cheeks, and forced herself to keep her eyes open and stare at the paper covered walls of her bedroom, taking in the depth and breadth of her own madness.

She didn't even register that her brain had given the command for her muscles to move, until she was stomping on a pile of notes that she had just torn off the wall. When she saw the green notes under her foot, she stopped, feeling the all too familiar feeling of heartbreak.

The tears started to fall harder and she quickly picked the notes up, smoothed them back out and stuck them back on the wall, saying as she did.

"I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry…" She wasn't sure why she was saying it, or who she was saying it to, but she felt the words with every fiber of her being.

Once the notes were all back in place, she sat down hard on the floor, rested her back against the papered wall and ran her fingers through her hair roughly. She wondered for a moment how she would ever get through this with any of her sanity intact, and in an instant she knew what she had to do.

She crawled across her bedroom floor, grabbed her phone off her night side table, pulled up her favorite contacts list and hit dial. The line rang quite a few times and then the voicemail message clicked on.

"You have reached the personal phone of Aubrey Posen. I am not available right now. Please leave a message and I will return your call at my earliest convenience. Thank you."

She made a choked sound that might have been something similar to a chuckle when she heard the message. It had been the same since Beca's freshmen year of college, and she remembered telling Chloe once that it sounded like a message you might hear on the recording of a supreme court justice, who moonlighted as a flight attendant. Chloe had slapped Beca's arm and told her not to be so mean, but the laughter in her voice was enough to tell Beca that she had had similar thoughts about her best friend's message.

Tears fell harder at the memory and Beca didn't even try to keep them out of her voice, when the voicemail beeped and she began to speak.

"Bree, it's Beca. I'm sorry to call so late and I'm sorry I said those mean things to you the other day. It's just…" Beca cleared her throat and took a few deep breaths, trying to keep the tears from stealing her voice completely "it's just… I'm so lost. I don't know what to do without her Bree. I never have." Beca choked back a sob and whispered "I'm sorry." Before disconnecting the call.

After her call to Aubrey, Beca fell over on to her side on the floor. She knew she should get up and get back in bed, but she wasn't sure she could. Her life was spinning out and at least if she was on the floor, she couldn't fall any farther. She felt weak, and the effort it took to draw every breath made her body hurt.

The fact that she was utterly alone, didn't escape her. She had pushed everyone who loved her away and even if Aubrey did listen to the voice mail and forgive her, she was still half way across the country, running her retreat in Georgia. There was truly no one for Beca to lean on, and as that thought sunk into her brain, she closed her eyes and felt her mind go blank.

* * *

Twenty minutes later Beca felt strong arms pulling her up off of her bedroom floor. Once she was upright she felt, what she could only assume were the same arms, wrap around her waist and lead her over to her bed. She was laid down and the covers were pulled up around her. A moment later there was warmth at her back, the bedside lamp was turned off and an arm found its way around her waist.

"Chloe?" Beca, in her disassociated fog, asked into the dark room.

She felt a soft hand smooth the back of her hair and the warmth at her back wrap around her more completely, just before she fell into a deep, dreamless, and restful sleep, for the first time in months.

* * *

The next morning Beca woke up to an empty bed. Memories from the night before slowly came back to her and she looked around the room. She could have sworn somebody had helped her into bed and then climbed in behind her. She had even thought for a brief moment that it was Chloe, but that was ridiculous she told herself. Nobody was there, it was just a dream, a product of sleep deprivation and slowly losing the last shred of her sanity.

A noise, that sounded like it was coming from the kitchen, caught her attention and she shot up out of bed. Someone was in her house, and mental instability be damned, this was her house and she would protect it. It was go time.

She crept down the hall and stood for a moment with her back pressed against the doorway, out of sight from whoever was in her kitchen. She listened intently. It sounded like someone was going through the cabinets. Was she actually being robbed? Was this really happening?

She took a deep breath, jumped around the door frame and screamed.

"GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HOUSE!"

She heard an ear piercing shriek and felt something hit her, hard, in the chest. She had a brief moment of thinking she had been shot, until she saw and heard the metal spatula crash to the ground and looked up to see a very scared Aubrey, standing in front of her, with her hand still clutching her chest.

"Jesus Christ Beca! You scared the shit out of me." Aubrey screamed, once she got her voice back.

"Well, what the hell are you doing down here going through my cabinets? Not to mention did you really throw a spatula at me?" Beca asked as she bent over to pick up the offending utensil and then pointed it at the blonde.

Aubrey took one look at Beca standing there wild eyed, still pointing a spatula at her and started laughing hysterically. The laugh sounded frantic, more a release of nervous energy than true amusement, but that didn't stop Beca from soon joining in.

"It was… what I… had in my… hand. I was… making you… pancakes." Aubrey finally got out in between laughs and trying to breathe. Which only caused both of them to laugh harder.

As both of their hysterical laughter hit a fever pitch, Aubrey saw Beca's laughter turn, in an instant, to tears, as if someone had flipped a switch, and stepped forward to catch her as her small friend's legs gave out.

Beca fisted her hands into the back of Aubrey's shirt as the blonde lowered them both, slowly, to the ground. Aubrey held Beca in her lap, tight against her chest, stroking her hair and humming softly while she cried.

When Beca's sobs had quieted to steady tears, she spoke, her voice raspy from the tears and muffled by Aubrey's shirt.

"When did you get here Bree?"

Aubrey pulled Beca a little tighter against her chest, at the memory of finding her on the floor completely out of it.

"Last night, about half an hour or so after you called."

Beca sat up a little, at that, not pulling herself too far away from the warm comfort of her friend, but enough to be able to see her face.

"How did you get here from Georgia so fast?"

"From Georgia?" Aubrey asked, confused.

"Yeah, I mean, I thought after the last time you were here…" Beca let her statement trail off knowing that Aubrey would understand what she meant.

"Beca." Aubrey sighed "Do you really think I would leave town with you in that state?"

Beca's tears started to fall harder, and she buried her face back in Aubrey's shirt.

They were both quiet for a moment, before Beca broke the silence with a barely audible whisper.

"Chloe's dead." It was the first time she had said it out loud, or even thought it, and hearing the words come out of her own mouth made her chest hurt.

Aubrey pulled Beca tighter against herself and rested her cheek on the top of the small brunette's head, saying softly.

"I know she is sweetie."

"I'm so lost Bree. I don't know what to do without her." Beca said, sobs breaking her voice.

Aubrey felt her own tears begin to fall, she had loved Chloe like a sister and still couldn't believe that she was gone sometimes.

"I know Becs, but you're going to get through this. I'm going to help you do it, and I will be here for as long as you need me, ok?"

"Promise?" Beca whispered into Aubrey's chest.

"Promise." Aubrey whispered back with as much conviction as she could pack into the single word.


	7. Chapter 7

For the next three months Aubrey spent every waking hour, and most of the sleeping ones, at Beca's side. She made sure Beca ate, drank and stayed clean, showering and putting on fresh, clean clothes regularly.

She also did her best to take care of Beca's mental wellbeing, watching for signs of the depression and disassociation that had become fairly common occurrences for her small friend.

Whenever she would see Beca slipping back into them she would do whatever she could to pull her back, sometimes suggesting an activity she knew Beca enjoyed, sometimes engaging her in conversation and sometimes simply sitting and holding her until the episode passed.

The first couple of weeks had been the worst, with Beca falling into her "dark place", as Aubrey had come to think of it, often. She would get defensive and petulant, refusing to do anything Aubrey asked of her, and then she would start to slip into the dark place. There were even a few times when Aubrey had to pry the block of green sticky notes and black pen, out of her hands.

As time went on though, things started to run smoother. Beca started remembering to do basic things like eat, and shower, and she started slipping into her dark place less and less.

Aubrey had considered asking Beca if she would be ok with taking the notes that lined the walls down, but after a conversation one night where, of her own volition, Beca told her that they helped, not only keep Chloe fresh in her mind, but also reminded her of the state she had been in, and how she never wanted to go back to that, Aubrey decided to just stay quiet about them and let Beca decide when it was time to take them down.

By the end of the three months Beca was, for all intents and purposes, a functioning member of society again. She was remembering all of her basic self-care tasks without prompting and had seen and had lunch dates with most of the other Bella's. She was speaking on the phone to her family regularly and had even started working again. Granted, she was working from home, but Aubrey still thought it was a huge step.

There was a debate happening about whether or not Aubrey was going to stay an additional two weeks. Beca insisting that while she did enjoy her friend's constant company, the blonde needed to get back to her job and her life, and Aubrey insisting that she would stay as long as Beca needed or wanted her to.

The debate was settled the next day, when Beca got a call from her office. Her boss told her that, while he knew she was still on personal time, there was a new artist based out of New York, that the label had just signed, whose style matched with Beca's perfectly. He told her that he would understand if she didn't want to make the trip, but would really appreciate it if she could. Beca accepted immediately.

Aubrey offered to go on the trip with Beca. An offer that Beca, politely, but very quickly declined. Saying that she would be just fine by herself, but that she wouldn't hesitate to call if she needed help. She also added that maybe it would do her good to get away from the house for a while. A point that Aubrey couldn't argue. So even though Beca being in New York by herself did make Aubrey nervous, she let it go and scheduled her flight back to Georgia for the same day as Beca's flight to New York.

* * *

Beca had managed to get on the same flight as Aubrey for the first leg of their journey, and as they sat shoulder to shoulder in the Atlanta airport, on the short layover before Beca's solo flight to New York, Aubrey could tell that her younger traveling companion was nervous.

"You're gonna do fine, you know?" Aubrey said, out of the blue, as she put her hand gently on Beca's knee to still the rapid, nervous, bouncing of her leg.

"Huh… What, sorry?" Beca asked, having been startled out of her thoughts.

Aubrey chuckled "I said you're going to do just fine."

"Thanks Bree." Beca said gently patting the hand that was resting on her knee, "I just wish I was as sure about that as you are. This is my first time being on my own in months…" Beca let the words trail off, as she started to withdraw.

"Beca look at me." Aubrey said. The words were much more commanding than the tone, but it was obvious that the message had been received, when Beca looked over, her full attention on the blonde sitting next to her.

"You've got this. Ok? Yeah, it's been a while since you've been on your own, but that doesn't change anything. You're… wait what was it Amy used to call you?" Aubrey asked.

"Shortstack?" Beca offered.

"No, the other one."

"Shawshank?"

"No, not that one."

"Hobbit?" Beca tried again.

"No that was me." Aubrey said on an explosion of laughter.

"Oh yeah." Beca said with a grin. "I think you mean the Big BM."

"That's the one!" Aubrey said with a victorious grin. "You are the Big BM and nothing is ever going to change that."

Beca gave Aubrey a side eyed look and asked "Are you trying to tell me I smell?"

Aubrey rolled her eyes and wrapped her arm around Beca's shoulders, pulling her tight against her own side, kissing the top of her head and saying as she did. "C'mere hobbit."

Beca laughed and then settled into the warm familiar embrace of her friend, saying quietly. "Thanks Bree."

"You're welcome Becs. Anytime."

* * *

One week later

Beca had just gotten back to her hotel from a very long day at the studio. She genuinely liked the artist she was working with and thought they would make a good team, but having a two-week deadline on the demo they were working on, made for some very long days, that more often than not stretched into very long nights, and Beca was exhausted.

She put her phone onto the wireless charging pad on the bed side table and flopped over onto the bed, stretching out and letting the quiet of the room wash over her.

She was almost asleep when the loud, high pitched, ring of her phone shattered the silence, and made her jump. She groaned, rolled over, grabbed the phone and hit the answer button when she saw Stacie's name on the screen.

"Hello?"

"Hey hot stuff. What ya up to?"

Beca chuckled. Stacie had always had this way of flirting, that you knew didn't mean anything, but made you feel good all the same.

"Not much really. What's going on with you?"

"Well I'm in town and I was hoping I could come pick you up for dinner."

Beca smiled, she knew just from the amount of calls and texts, that out of all the Bella's, except Aubrey of course, Stacie had been the most worried about her, during her down period.

"Actually I can't. I'm working."

"Beca." Stacie said, all the casual flirtiness in her voice gone, replaced with something that sounded like a warning.

"No Stace, I promise. I'm not even in L.A. right now. I'm in New York, working with a new artist for the next week. Bree can back me up, we shared a flight to Atlanta and then I jumped on a connecting flight up here."

"Oh, well I guess that's alright then." Stacie said, the fun tone returning to her voice.

Beca laughed. "What are you in L.A. for anyway?"

"Well I'm not actually in L.A. I'm in Pasadena. I'm down here doing some work for JPL?"

"What is JPL?"

"Oh, sorry. NASA's Jet Propulsion Laboratory."

"Wait, NASA? I thought you worked on Submarines or with the Navy or something."

Stacie laughed. "Yeah I do, but fluid dynamics are the same whether you are talking about a liquid or a gas. So once you account for the slightly higher resistive force of the liquid, it's not hard to recalibrate a propulsion system to be used on air based vehicles."

Beca was silent.

"Did you understand a word of what I just said?" Stacie asked teasingly.

"I understand that you said you're in Pasadena for work, and maybe something about... aliens… I think." Beca said.

Stacie laughed loudly. "Yeah, sure. That's what I said alright."

"I knew it! Area 51 confirmed."

They both laughed at Beca's joke, and when the laughter died down, Beca asked.

"So how long will you be in town for?"

"I'm here for about a month."

"Ok cool. Well I'm only in New York for another week, so how about I call you when I get back in town and we can do dinner then."

"That sounds awesome! I gotta run now, but have fun and kiss lady liberty for me."

"What does that even mean?" Beca asked, being only half as confused as she made herself sound.

Stacie laughed "Bye, Beca."

"Bye"

* * *

Three days later

The night before had been another long one. Beca had crawled back into the hotel room shortly before dawn and had fallen onto the bed, without taking her clothes or shoes off, to catch a few hours of sleep, before she had to get up and do it all over again.

The next morning, she woke with a start to her alarm, she cursed and quickly silenced it, sitting up and swinging her legs over the bed as she did. Beca scrubbed her face with her hands and got up to start the day. She grabbed the remote off the desk and turned the TV on, switching it to the nine o'clock news.

She had just closed the lid on the mini Keurig machine and pressed the button to start it, when she heard the words earthquake and California coming from the TV. She walked over and turned the volume up. According to the news anchor there had been a six point five magnitude earthquake in the Los Angeles area. There was a lot of property damage and some injuries, but no fatalities were reported as of yet.

Beca sighed and clicked the TV off as the anchors began talking about some health violation at an upscale restaurant in Vermont. She had known this work trip was a good idea, but she had no clue just how good of an idea it was. If she hadn't agreed to it, there was every possibility that she and Aubrey both could have been hurt in the quake. That thought, brought on another, more disturbing thought. Beca wasn't the only one on a work trip.

She quickly grabbed her phone, pulled up Stacie's contact info and hit dial. Time difference be damned, she needed to know that her friend was safe.

"Beca, is everything ok?" Stacie said in lieu of a greeting.

"Yeah, fine. I just heard about the earthquake. I wanted to make sure you were ok."

"Oh," Stacie sighed in relief and then continued, her voice tense "Yeah I'm fine, we got shook up pretty good in Pasadena, but I don't think there was any damage or anything."

It was now Beca's turn to sigh in relief "Oh, thank God!"

"But Beca, I do have some bad news." Stacie said with the same tension in her voice.

"What? Is everyone ok? Was one of the other Bella's in the area?" Beca asked, starting to panic again.

"The Bella's are all fine as far as I know and if any of them were here I didn't know about it. The bad news is about your house."

Beca blew out the breath she was holding. "Do I still have one?" She asked matter of factly.

"Not really, no." Stacie said carefully. "I didn't go in or anything. I just drove by, but it's… it's pretty bad Becs."

Beca sat back on the bed and rubbed her temple with the hand that wasn't holding the phone. "Well ok, I guess I should call the label and tell them I need a new place to stay."

"Are you sure you're ok?" Stacie asked quietly, worried that the stress of losing her house and all her belongings could send Beca into a relapse.

"Yeah, I'm fine." Beca answered surely, and was fairly surprised to find that the words were true. Yeah it sucked, but she was ok. There was really nothing holding her to that house anymore anyway.

"Ok good. Well I've gotta run, I just got to work, but call me as soon as you get back and I'll help you out with whatever you need."

Beca smiled "Thanks Stace."

"No problem shorty. See ya in a few days."

"Yep, see ya."


	8. Chapter 8

Four days later

Beca had called Stacie as soon as she had gotten off the plane. The tall brunette had said she'd be there in about an hour, and that was forty-five minutes ago.

The cab Beca hailed at the airport, had made good time getting her home, and not wanting to wait any longer to see just how much of a mess things were, Beca walked up the long driveway to what had formerly been her house. Although now it really wasn't much more than a pile of match sticks.

The front door was one of the few things still standing and Beca walked up and pushed on it. She wasn't sure whether to laugh or cry, when instead of opening it simply fell over into the rubble, that was once the entry way.

Beca knew the house was in bad shape. Stacie had told her as much on the phone, but this... This was insane. She stepped through the now empty door way, onto the door, and made her way into the living room. She looked around as she walked into the room. Everything that had had any kind of meaning to her lay in shards on the floor. She saw a music box that had belonged to her grandmother, smashed beyond any hope of repair. Across the room lay her vintage vinyl collection mostly under a heavy ceiling beam that had fallen, and just to her left was a picture of her and Chloe, that had been taken in Copenhagen and had been hanging on the wall. She knelt down and picked it up, the frame was cracked and the glass was broken, but at least the picture was intact.

She carefully pulled the picture out of the frame and took a moment to look at it. Beca was looking at the camera and Chloe was looking at Beca. She touched Chloe's face in the picture and found herself desperately wishing she could go back to that day, just for a moment. Just to see Chloe one last time.

She took a deep breath, stood up, and pushed the thought out of her head. She could only deal with one crisis at a time and right now the pile of tooth picks, that had been her house, took precedence. She walked across the living room and started down the hall to see if there was anything from her bedroom or office that could be salvaged.

She got about halfway down the hall and stopped. There was a foot-long chunk of wall laying on the floor in front of her. It was covered in the same green sticky notes that were scattered around the rest of the rubble, but these were blank.

Beca picked up the chunk of wall and looked at it closely. At first she had thought that maybe the ink had been washed away somehow, but even if it had rained into the open house, there would still be signs of ink on the paper, smears and blotches at least. These were clean. They looked like they had been pulled off a brand new block. She dropped the bit of wall and picked up a few of the loose notes that were scattered around everywhere. When she had first seen them she had thought that they were just laying ink side down, but after looking at quite a few, found that just like the ones on the hunk of drywall, these were all blank too.

She ran her fingers back through her hair. She didn't understand what was going on. These notes had been written on. She knew she had, and even if her own memory wasn't to be trusted, Aubrey had seen them too, even commented on them from time to time. Beca shut her eyes tight and pressed her hands into her temples. She felt like she was losing it all over again.

She was just about to reach for her phone to call Aubrey, when an image popped into her mind, it was the last note she had written to Chloe. It said, simply, I love you, and was smudged from where her tear had hit the block of notes.

Before she had even realized she was moving, she was standing in the open door way of Chloe's room. The first thing she noticed was that the door, that just a few days ago hung where she stood, was now on the other side of the room, on the floor. She shook her head and looked for the note attached to the top of the dresser, hoping that it was still there and still contained the words she had written.

To her horror, she saw that not only was the note not where she had put it, but the dresser itself was laying on its face in the rubble, with bright blue shards of the ceramic urn it had held, laying in front of it. The whole area covered in dust and ash.

Beca took two steps and fell to her knees in front of the smashed urn. She felt tears start to burn the backs of her eyes and didn't even try to stop them, just letting them roll down her cheeks and onto the ashes that surrounded her as she whispered. "I'm so sorry." Into the empty house.

A moment later Beca heard a groan. Not the groan of a leaning wall, or loose beam that was about to fall, but the kind of groan a person would make if they were unhappy, or uncomfortable. It startled her and she called out.

"Stace? Is that you?" The tears were still obvious in her voice, but in her unease, they were quickly drying up.

Getting no answer, she called again. "Stacie? If that's you, this isn't funny!"

There was a beat of silence before she heard a muffled and somewhat strained voice from the other side of the room.

"Beca?"

Beca froze. Even muffled and faint, there was no mistaking that voice. That voice was the one that spoke to her in her dreams, the voice that could calm and excite her with just one word, the voice that she had loved above and beyond all others. That voice belonged to Chloe.

Beca sat flat on her butt and scooted back to rest against what was left of the light lavender walls. She covered her face with her hands and whispered into the room.

"This isn't happening. This isn't possible, it's just the stress getting to me."

"Beca, why are you whispering? What's going on? What's on top of me?"

Beca opened her eyes and saw the door on the opposite side of the room, move slightly.

"No, no, no, no, no, no, no." She said into the room, pulling her knees up against her chest and wrapping her arms around them. "This isn't real."

"Beca please. I'm scared."

The disembodied voice cracked on the last word and Beca couldn't take it anymore. Even if it was just a hallucination, she couldn't deal with the sound of Chloe crying. She stood up and walked towards the fallen door, resolved to show what ever part of her brain had broken under the stress, that this wasn't real.

She grabbed the door knob and heaved the door off to the side. She looked at where the door had been and where she should have seen a bare spot on the floor, she saw a redhead with crystal clear blue eyes in a T-shirt and jeans, with every inch of her exposed skin covered in black marks that looked like soot, or something.

Beca screamed, took three steps back and tripped over a random piece of drywall. She fell hard on her butt, yelping out in pain as she hit the ground.

Beca looked up to see her hallucination of Chloe sitting up and looking at her in confusion and hurt.

"Beca what's going on? Why are you acting like you're scared of me and what the hell happened to the house?" Chloe rapid fired questions at Beca, just as Stacie stepped into the room.

"Beca you in he… Woah, what the fuck?" Stacie screamed as she took a step back and pressed herself into the wall by the empty door frame, quickly adding "Chloe?" disbelief clear in her voice.

"Wait, you see her?" Beca asked in confusion.

"Why would she not see me?"

"Yes of course I see her, how could I not?"

Chloe and Stacie said at the same time.

Beca ignored both questions and launched herself at Chloe, quickly pulling the redhead into a tight hug.

Chloe returned the hug for a moment and then gently pushed on Beca's shoulders, so she would sit back and look at her. Once Beca had complied with the unspoken request, Chloe said.

"Beca, you're obviously upset about something, and I'll do anything I can to help in just a bit, but right now I need to know what's going on. Why was I on the floor under my bedroom door? Why were you and Stacie both acting scared of me? Why did you think Stacie couldn't see me? What happened to the house? And why does it look like someone wrote all over me?"

At the last question Beca focused on the marks on Chloe's face and realized that the redhead was right. What Beca had thought was soot or dirt, was actually ink. Once it clicked, she recognized the writing as well, it was hers. When she looked a bit closer she could even make out some of the words. The story that had been written on thousands of sticky notes around the house was now somehow written on Chloe's body.

"Ok, yeah." Beca said quietly, with the sound of the tears that were burning the backs of her eyes again, being clear in her voice, "I'll explain everything as best I can, but let's go to the living room. I think there's enough left of the couch for all of us to sit."

Chloe nodded and Beca helped her up, as Stacie walked out of the room mumbling to herself about how weird her life had gotten since joining the Bella's.


	9. Chapter 9

Once they were settled in the living room, Beca and Chloe on the bit of couch that was still functional, and Stacie on the only kitchen stool that was still in one piece, Chloe turned and looked at Beca expectantly.

Beca reached over and took Chloe's hand. She gently pulled it over into her lap, and held it with both of her hands, carefully, as if she was afraid Chloe would just pop out of existence if she made a wrong move. Which to be honest she wasn't entirely sure wouldn't happen.

Chloe looked down at their joined hands, and then back up at Beca with a puzzled look on her face. She wasn't complaining about the loving gesture at all, but it was a bit out of character for Beca to initiate something like that.

"I… I just… need to be touching you right now." Beca said softly.

Chloe smiled at Beca, while the sentiment did nothing to ease her mind, it was incredibly sweet.

Chloe squeezed Beca's hand and went back to looking at her expectantly. This whole situation was really starting to freak her out.

Beca sighed. How could you tell someone that they had been dead for eight months?

"Ok Chlo. I will explain everything as much as I can. First of all, for the easy question, there was an earthquake a few days ago that destroyed the house, but it's not a big deal, the label is already working on getting us a new place."

Chloe looked like she was about to say something, but she quickly changed her mind and just nodded.

"OK, before I get into anything else, can I ask you a question?"

Chloe nodded again.

"Ok. What's the last thing you remember? I mean before waking up under that door?"

Chloe squinched up her face in concentration, as she tried to remember.

"Um… It's a little fuzzy, but I think I was supervising a play at school and then I was meeting you for dinner?" Chloe half stated, half asked.

Beca nodded. "Anything else?"

Chloe squinched up her face a little tighter and used her free hand to rub her forehead.

"I think I had to stay late because a student's parents hadn't come to pick them up yet, and then I kind of remember trying to hurry to get to the restaurant… That's it. That's all I've got."

Beca nodded, licked her lips, and took a deep breath.

"Ok, this probably won't be easy to hear, but you were in a car accident that night."

"Oh my God. Have I been in a coma?" Chloe asked in a rush of breath.

"No, no coma."

"Then what?"

"Chlo… You died that night." Beca said carefully.

She had expected some kind of grand reaction from Chloe, but instead simply got a confused look.

"So… What? Are you saying that my heart stopped and they had to bring me back or something? Beca that doesn't make sense, I would remember something about that. Being in the hospital or…"

"No." Beca said in a gentle voice, cutting Chloe off. "That's not what happened. I don't mean your heart stopped and they brought you back. I mean you actually died. You were cremated and your funeral was about eight months ago."

Chloe jerked her hand roughly out of Beca's gentle grip and stood up, crossing her arms over her chest. Her voice was cold when she spoke.

"That's not funny Beca."

The tears that had been threatening to fall since Beca had realized that Chloe was really there, finally started to roll down her cheeks as she said.  
"I'm not joking Chloe. Believe me, I wish I was. These last eight months have been… it was…"

"Chloe." Stacie said gently from her perch on the kitchen stool, where she had been silently watching the interaction. "Beca's not kidding, or crazy, or lying, or anything like that. She's telling you the God's honest truth. I went with your mom to identify your body. I saw you with my own eyes."

Beca felt a twinge of pain and guilt. She hadn't known that anyone, much less Stacie and Momma Beale had gone to identify Chloe's body. She realized that it had to be one of the "arrangements" that Aubrey had taken care of. She couldn't imagine how horrible it must have been for them.

Beca was brought out of her thoughts when Chloe spoke again.

"But Stace. That doesn't make any sense. People don't just come back from being dead. It's not like once you're dead you can just get better, unless you're a zombie or something, and I don't have the desire to eat either of your brains."

Stacie chuckled darkly and got up off her stool. She stood in front of Chloe and laid a gentle hand on her shoulder.

"I know it doesn't make any sense at all Chloe. Which is why I really think we should get you to a hospital."

"Hospital?!" Chloe and Beca almost shouted at the same time.

"Guys. I know this is scary ok? I mean, Chloe you just found out you've been dead for eight months, and Beca you just recovered from…"

Stacie stopped short as Beca shot her a glare.

"Anyway. I really think the best idea is for Chloe to be checked out by a doctor, just to make sure everything is ok, and if we take her to the hospital she was taken to after the accident, they'll have records of her being brought there and will be more likely to actually believe us."

Beca really didn't want to agree, she wanted to grab Chloe and whisk her away to some private place where they could just be alone and together, but she knew deep in her heart that Stacie was right.

Beca stood up. "Chlo, I think Stacie is right. I mean I'm sure you're fine, but it couldn't hurt to get you looked at just to be certain."

A tear rolled down Chloe's cheek, smearing the ink that was there, and Beca's heart broke a little bit more.

"Ok let's go." Chloe finally said quietly.

Stacie smiled sadly and put her hand on Chloe's back ushering her out of the house and Beca walked behind them, keeping her distance. She wanted desperately to just take Chloe in her arms, to hold her and smooth her hair and tell her everything would be ok. Tell her that she would never let her go ever again, but she knew that her redheaded love, had just been through hell in the last fifteen minutes and might need some space and time to process things. So when they both climbed into the back of Stacie's car, Beca sat on her own side and looked out the window, resolved, that no matter how much it hurt, she would let Chloe process and only reach out to her if she asked.

* * *

When they got to the hospital, nobody on the staff or any of the patients in the waiting room quite knew what to make of the strange ink covered redhead and her two companions.

When they sat down at the intake desk and the nurse asked what Chloe needed to be seen for, both Chloe and Beca looked to Stacie.

"We'd really prefer to just explain it to the doctor, if you don't mind. It's… complicated." Stacie said.

The intake nurse sighed and told them to go wait in the sitting area and they would be called when it was time to go back to a room.

They found three chairs that were all together. Chloe took the middle, Stacie on her left, and Beca on her right. They sat quietly, watching a bad daytime talk show on a small screen mounted from the ceiling.

It had been about fifteen minutes when Stacie got up and announced she was going to try to find drinks and snacks. Beca and Chloe both mumbled their acceptance.

"Beca?"

Chloe's voice broke Beca out of her thoughts and she turned in her chair giving the redhead her full attention.

"What's up Chlo?" Beca asked softly.

"Before… eight months ago, did we have a fight or something?" Chloe's voice sounded like she was on the verge of tears.

"No, Chloe not at all. Why?"

"It's nothing." Chloe said, looking away.

The sight of Chloe turning away from her, looking so dejected, broke one of the last remaining pieces of Beca's heart. She wanted to reach out so badly, but held to her earlier promise to herself and kept her hands folded tightly in her lap, saying

"Chloe please talk to me."

Chloe turned her head back to face forward, but didn't look at Beca as she spoke.

"It's just…You haven't touched or really even looked at me, since before we left the house. I feel like you're angry with me, or scared of me, or something."

Beca felt the ever present tears start to prickle at the backs of her eyes. She reached over, gently grabbed Chloe's chin, and turned the redhead's face so she was looking at her.

"Chloe I'm not angry with you and I am not now, nor have I ever been scared of you. I didn't know how you felt about all this and I was trying to give you space to process."

Tears began to roll down Chloe's cheeks, making more tracks in the ink on her face.

"I don't need space Becs, I need you."

With that affirmation Beca leaned forward and wrapped her arms around the redhead's shoulders, pulling her against her chest and holding her tight. Chloe nuzzled her face into Beca's neck and they both finally let the tears they had been bottling up for each other's benefit, flow freely.

Stacie was just walking back with her vending machine haul in hand, when, from across the room, she saw Beca pull Chloe into her and hold her tight. The tall brunette smiled. She had known something was off between those two and she figured a few minutes alone would get them back on track. She walked back over to her seat, kissed Beca and Chloe on their heads and sat down, thinking that she had never been so happy to have been right.


	10. Chapter 10

Half an hour later Beca and Chloe were still holding each other, and Stacie was actually starting to enjoy the trashy daytime TV, when a nurse in light green scrubs called out Chloe's name.

All three women jerked their heads up and around to look at the nurse.

"Right here." Beca called back as she and Chloe both got up. Stacie was up a moment later and they all walked over to the nurse.

"Right this way." She said as she gestured back through the open double doors she had just come through, giving the trio a sideways glance as she turned to lead them back into the patient area.

The nurse showed them to the room, took a quick look at Chloe's intake paperwork, gave them one last strange glance and said

"The doctor will be with you shortly."

They all thanked her and settled into the room, Chloe on the bed, Beca standing next to her, holding her hand, and Stacie in a chair near the foot of the bed.

"Do you guys mind if I do the talking?" Stacie asked after a moment.

Both Beca and Chloe shook their heads and Stacie nodded. She knew that, even though she loved Chloe and Beca dearly, she was still the least emotionally invested person in the situation, and things were going to be dicey enough, trying to get a doctor to believe them. They did not need a lot of tears to go along with their story.

They were all fairly surprised when just a few short minutes later a man with sandy brown hair and a five o'clock shadow, who looked to be in his late twenties, walked in the door. They had expected to wait at least an hour.

"Ms. Beale?" He asked, looking down at the paper work in his hands.

Stacie snapped her head up when she heard the voice.

"Frankie?" She asked in disbelief.

"Oh my God! Stacie?" The doctor immediately replied.

The two hugged, while Beca and Chloe both looked on, confused.

Stacie took a step back and looked at her friends.

"Guys, this is Franklin Linds. He was in med school at Barden. Frankie, this is Beca and Chloe, they were the captains of The Bella's."

Frankie stepped forward and shook both of their hands, saying. "It's so great to finally meet you two. Stacie told me so much about you guys back in the day."

Beca and Chloe both smiled awkwardly and said hello.

Sensing the tension from the two women, Frankie's smile shifted slightly from warm and personal, to compassionate and professional.

Stacie noticed the change and smiled. She had always liked Frankie, and Lady Fate could not have dealt them a better hand than him being the doctor on call.

"Ok, Chl… Ms. Bea…" Frankie seemed to be a bit confused at what to call Chloe and after a moment of deliberation, asked "Is it alright if we just use first names?"

Everybody nodded and he continued.

"Ok Chloe. Your intake paperwork says that you wanted to wait to explain your condition to the doctor because it is, and I quote, complicated. I want you to know that you can feel comfortable telling me anything at all. I've heard just about everything and there will be no judgement here."

"Um… Frankie?" Stacie said When her old friend looked at her she continued. "Beca and Chloe have asked me to explain everything. Is that ok?"

"Yeah definitely. Whatever makes everybody the most comfortable."

"Ok, now this is going to sound really freaking weird, but I swear to you that everything I am about to tell you is the God's honest truth."

Frankie nodded and Stacie went on.

"Eight months ago a woman was brought here, she had been in a car crash and died on the scene. Me and her mother came in to identify the body. They had the identity correct and she was cremated a few days later."

"Ok?" Frankie said obviously not making the connection to the current situation.

"Before I go on. Can you tell me if that is something that can be verified?"

"Yeah, sure it can be. By law we have to keep all of those records for ten years, and even after that, they can usually be retrieved from storage if needed. Eight months ago shouldn't be a problem at all."

"Do you keep pictures of the deceased or any type of identifying documents?" Stacie asked.

"Yeah we take a picture of the body when it comes in to the morgue and if the person had any type of ID or anything on them we get a copy of that too, but Stace I really don't see what this has to do with anything."

Stacie took a deep breath. This was the moment of truth.

"The woman who was brought in eight months ago was Chloe. Her and Beca's house got destroyed in the quake a few days ago and today we went in to see what we could salvage and found Chloe lying in the wreckage."

Frankie's face contorted in confusion for just a moment, and then he burst out laughing.

"Oh wow, you actually had me going for a second there. Good one! So who told you I was working tonight? Was it Jackson?"

Not hearing any answering laughter, Frankie looked around at the somber faces of the three women in the room with him.

"You're not kidding." He finally said flatly.

"Look Frankie, I know how this sounds, ok? It's sounds totally insane, but please just go look up the record for Chloe Beale from last September. You'll see I'm telling the truth."

Frankie looked at them all, with a mixture of shock, disbelief, and pity on his face before he finally said.

"Ok give me just a few and I'll be back."

As Stacie watched him walk out of the room, she hoped that he was actually going to look into it and not just humor them by leaving the room.

"Well that could have gone better." Chloe said after a moment of tense silence.

Beca huffed in agreement, and Stacie chuckled, before quickly adding.

"Actually considering the circumstances, I'm really not sure it could have."

It was only a matter of moments before Frankie came back in the room with wide eyes, looking a little greyer than he had when he walked out.

"Believe me now?" Stacie asked quietly.

* * *

Four hours and many visits from multiple doctors later. Stacie was physically restraining Beca in a small waiting room off of the ICU.

"What the fuck do they mean quarantining her? Are they gonna put her in some fucking cage like a fucking animal?" Beca screamed while trying to pull out of the grip that Stacie had on her wrists.

"Beca calm down. This is not doing anyone any good."

"I will not fucking calm down! This is bullshit and I will not let them do it!" Beca had lost Chloe once and she would not sit by and let it happen again.

"Beca, Chloe came back from the dead!" Stacie finally screamed directly in the shorter girl's face.

Beca stopped fighting and looked at Stacie, she knew it was true, but hearing the words spoken so bluntly gave her a moment of pause.

"If I let your wrists go, will you please stay here and just listen?"

Beca nodded and Stacie released her, but kept her position in front of the door.

"Look I don't know how this all happened. Biologically it makes no sense, and those doctors out there are thinking the same thing right now. They want to make sure that Chloe is well, that her body is functioning and also that she's safe to be around."

"Of course she's sa…"

Stacie held up her hand and made a shushing sound, cutting Beca off. "You know that and I know that, but they don't. They've never seen this before and they have to explore all options. Now I talked to Frankie. Chloe is going to be kept in an observation and isolation room off of the ICU, it has glass walls, and as a special favor to us, Frankie said that you could sit outside the room in the hall for as long as you want, but you have to behave. No screaming, no trying to break in to the room, and no trying to get Chloe out. I know you love her, and want to be by her side, but for right now this is the best we can do. OK?"

Beca sat down, hard, in one of the waiting room chairs.

"This is so much bullshit." She said.

"Bullshit or not, it's what has to happen right now. Ok?"

Beca nodded reluctantly and Stacie smiled at her.

They were just getting ready to walk back out into the ICU, when Beca's phone rang. She pulled it out of her pocket and smiled as she saw Aubrey's name on the screen.

"Oh my God, Stace. We haven't told Aubrey yet."

Stacie had just started saying not to answer the call, when Beca slid her finger across the screen, put the phone to her ear and started talking excitedly.

"Bree, I'm so glad you called. You're never going to freaking believe what happened."

"Well you sound good." Aubrey said with an obvious smile in her voice "What's got you so excited?"

"Chloe's back!" Beca almost yelled in her joy.

There was a moment of silence, and when Aubrey spoke again her voice was a mixture of sadness and disappointment.

"Beca, no sweetie, she's not."

"No really Bree, she is. I promise I'm not crazy. She's really back."

"Beca honey, tell me where you are, please."

Beca was getting ready to tell Aubrey the whole story when the phone was jerked out of her hand. She turned to look at Stacie, and was just about to make a comment, but quickly bit it back when she saw the glare her taller friend was shooting her way.

"Bree it's Stacie. I'm with Beca and she's telling the truth."

Aubrey was quiet for a moment and then said.

"Ok, so you obviously can't talk freely, just answer yes or no for me, ok? Is Beca in danger? Are you worried she's going to hurt herself? Can you keep her safe until I get there or should I call the police?"

"No Bree. It's not like that. I'm not humoring Beca. She hasn't relapsed. She's in no danger because she is perfectly sane. The quake destroyed Beca's house. I met her there today to help her get things out and we found Chloe on the floor in her old room, covered in some kind of writing, but alive. We're at the hospital now. They're going to keep her in isolation and under observation for a while so they can try to figure out what happened."

"Stacie, that's not possible. Chloe is dead. For God's sake, you went with her mother to identify her body." Aubrey said, suddenly worried about both of her friends' sanity.

"I know Bree. Believe me I know. This shouldn't be possible, but here we are."

Aubrey was suddenly faced with three possibilities. The first was that Stacie had somehow been pulled into Beca's delusion so deeply that she actually believed what she was saying. The second was that this was the most deranged, cruel prank that anyone had ever tried to pull on her. The third, was that both of her old friends were still sane and Chloe had really, somehow, managed to come back from the dead.

Aubrey knew that both of the first two options were all but impossible. Stacie was way too intelligent and too together to get pulled into someone else's madness, to the point she believed something so crazy. The second option was even less possible than the first. Neither Stacie nor, especially Beca, would be so callous as to joke about Chloe's death, not to mention there was no doubt in Aubrey's mind that neither of the women had the capacity for that kind of cruelty. That left just the last possibility, that Chloe really was back. The only problem with that was, it was the least possible of all the options.

"Bree?" Stacie said into the phone after Aubrey had been silent for a few long minutes.

"Yeah, I'm here Stace." Aubrey finally said.

"I'm not asking you to take this on faith. I know you were just here, but do you think you could come down for a few days? I have a feeling it's going to be all hands on deck for a while."

Aubrey sighed again. "Sure. I'll catch the soonest flight I can, and I'll text you the details."

"Ok that sounds good. Thank you."

"No problem, call if you need me before then."

"Will do. Bye Bree."

"Bye Stace."

Stacie hung up the phone, crossed her arms over her chest, and looked down at Beca, who had sat back down during her conversation with Aubrey.

"I guess I should have thought that conversation out a little better, huh?" Beca said sheepishly.

Stacie rolled her eyes and then sat down in the chair next to Beca.

"Yeah Becs, you should have. You can't just tell someone that their best friend came back from the dead so casually. Not only does it sound totally insane, that's not something that people can really comprehend without seeing it firsthand."

"Oh my God, how am I gonna tell Mama Beale?" Beca asked suddenly and mostly to herself.

Stacie rubbed her forehead in frustration.

"Beca listen to me." Stacie waited until Beca turned to look at her and then continued "We can't tell anybody else about Chloe right now. Ok?"

"Why?" Beca asked, a confused look taking over her face.

Stacie sighed, she hadn't wanted to go into this, but it looked like she wasn't going to have a choice.

"Ok, look, I want you to know upfront that I'm not saying this to scare you or anything. Ok?"

Beca nodded, her immediate unease at Stacie's comment showing on her face.

"We can't tell anybody yet, because we don't even know what's going on. We have no idea why or how this happened and neither do any of those doctors out there. People have come back from the dead before in the sense that their heart stopped and they were revived, or they got frozen for the perfect amount of time and they were able to come back from it, but not after being dead for days and then cremated. This is all new and nobody has any idea what to expect."

"What do you mean?" Beca asked hesitantly.

"It means what it means Beca. We have no idea what is going to happen with Chloe. This is new territory for medicine and science. Her heart could stop, she could go into organ failure, hell she could pop right out of existence, for all we know. Like I said I'm not trying to scare you, and I'm not saying those things will happen, just that they could. So considering that Chloe's family has already lost her once, I really think that we should wait to tell them anything until we know for sure, or at least as sure as we can be, that she is going to be ok and stay on the same plane of existence as the rest of us."

When Stacie was done talking, Beca looked down at her hands and stayed silent for a few minutes. When she was done thinking or praying or whatever she had been doing, she looked back up at Stacie, with a somber expression on her face.

"You're right. I don't know what I'll do if I lose her again, and I don't want to put anyone else in that position."

Stacie smiled sadly, put her arm around Beca's shoulders and pulled the smaller woman in for a quick one arm hug.

"How about we go see to our redhead?" Stacie asked with a smile.

Beca returned the smile and they both walked out of the waiting room into the ICU.


	11. Chapter 11

Five hours later Aubrey was on the ground in L.A. Stacie had text her the name of the hospital and the GPS on her phone was now giving her directions, through the audio system on her rental car.

During all of her travel time, she had thought about the conversation she had had with Beca and then with Stacie. The truth was, she had finally decided, that while there was a tiny part of her that desperately hoped that Chloe had managed to come back from the grave, she didn't believe it.

She didn't think that her friends were lying to her, but she did think that maybe they were confused. The thought had occurred to her that maybe a drifter that looked very similar to Chloe had wandered into Beca's house after the quake and that's who they found. It wouldn't have surprised her a bit if Beca, in her, still, relatively fragile state, had simply seen a close resemblance and run with it.

Aubrey heard the GPS say "You have arrived at your destination" and looked up to see the giant hospital looming over her. She quickly found the entrance to the parking garage, found a spot and made her way into the hospital lobby, shooting a quick text to Stacie as she walked in.

* * *

Beca, Stacie and Chloe were playing hangman.

When Beca and Stacie had first taken up their post in front of the glass wall that separated them from Chloe, there had been a tense few minutes where Beca had tried to figure out a way to communicate with the redhead.

She first tried signing, which was met with Chloe shrugging and shaking her head. She then tried pressing her face almost up against the glass and mouthing words, quickly finding out that Chloe was as bad at reading lips as she was at reading sign. Beca frowned and crossed her arms over her chest, squinching her face in concentration as she tried to find a solution to the communication issue.

As thoughts passed through her head, each one getting rejected. She had a brief thought that she was kind of sad, that all of the ink that had covered Chloe's body seemed to be gone. She spared another quick thought to all the green sticky notes that lined the walls of their house and to how their written story might be gone, but at least they would be able to continue it where they left off, when the solution made itself clear.

Beca sent Stacie down to the gift shop to buy out every last notebook they had in stock, and a few pens. Stacie came back with the bag of note pads, right as a nurse was getting ready to put on the protective gear that anyone entering Chloe's room had to wear, and it didn't take much convincing for her to take a few of the pads in.

Beca watched Chloe's face light up as the nurse handed her the note pads and explained why Beca had sent them in.

They had tried having written conversations at first, but that quickly proved to be far too time consuming and frustrating with three people. So when Stacie suggested hangman they all jumped on it.

They were halfway through the current round, which Chloe was winning, when Stacie felt her phone buzz in her pocket. As She pulled it out and looked down to see Aubrey's name on the waiting notification, she realized that she had been having so much fun, and had been so absorbed in the game, she had actually forgotten that one of the people she was playing with, was for all intents and purposes undead. Stacie shook her head to clear the disturbingly amusing thought and clicked her messaging app, bringing up Bree's text, it said simply "I'm here."

"Bree's here, I gotta run down and get her." She said quickly to Beca.

Beca nodded and flipped to a new page in her notebook. She wrote Bree is here. Stacie is going down to get her.' And watched as Chloe's face lit up at the prospect of seeing her best friend.

* * *

Aubrey stood in the hospital lobby with her arms crossed over her chest, tapping her foot. She wasn't really feeling as impatient as she looked to be. She was just worried about her friends and had no idea what she was actually walking into.

Stacie had sworn up and down that Beca was fine, that she hadn't relapsed, but there was still a pretty large part of Aubrey's mind that told her, that was the only logical explanation.

Aubrey looked up just in time to see Stacie striding towards her from a bank of elevators on the other side of the lobby. Aubrey started walking as well, and the two old friends met near the middle of the cavernous room, with a warm embrace. After a moment Aubrey pulled back and looked at Stacie, her expression changing from warm to serious, in an instant.

"Stace, can you please tell me what's actually going on now?"

Stacie sighed. As thankful as she was, that Aubrey was here to help deal with things, she still wanted to kidney punch Beca for bringing her in the way she did.

"Bree, I know this is all very confusing, but everything I told you on the phone is the truth. Come on, I'll show you."

Aubrey gave a tense nod and followed Stacie back toward the bank of elevators she had just come from.

* * *

Beca and Chloe were finding written conversations to be a bit easier with just two people, and they were both in unspoken agreement that keeping the conversation light would be the best idea. They talked about what kind of house the label would put them in next, and how they would furnish it. They also talked about things they would do, once Chloe got released.

They were just deciding where they would go for Cheeseburgers on the way home, when Beca heard the unmistakable sound of Aubrey's heels clicking on the hard tile floor and turned toward the noise.

It wasn't that Aubrey walked any harder than most people, it was more the way she walked that made it distinct. It was almost like you could actually hear the purpose in her steps.

Beca turned back a moment later and was met with a puzzled look from Chloe. She quickly wrote 'Bree is on her way over here.' And held it up to the window.

'How do you know?' Chloe wrote back.

'I can hear her walking.'

Chloe laughed and Beca didn't need a written confirmation to know that Chloe had made the same observation about Aubrey and the way she walks.

* * *

"It just doesn't make sense." Aubrey said as she and Stacie stepped off the elevator.

"I know it doesn't Bree. It doesn't make any sense at all, but it's the truth."

"You said that 'Chloe'," Aubrey made air quotes with her fingers around her name, "was all covered with ink right?"

"Yeah."

"OK, then isn't it possible that it was just someone who looked like Chloe and maybe Beca just got confused, or just wanted it to be Chloe so bad, that she convinced herself it was?"

"No Bree it's not possible. Not only is Chloe a very unique looking person, but she spoke to us. It was her voice coming out of her face, talking about memories that only she would have. It's really her, Bree, I can't tell you how, only that it is."

Stacie had stopped. They were standing in front of the observation room that held Chloe, but Aubrey was so engrossed in their conversation she hadn't yet noticed.

"Stace, this whole thing is just insane."

"Bree?"

"What?"

"Turn around."

Aubrey did as she was asked, and came face to face with Chloe, who had gotten out of her hospital bed and was standing directly in front of the window with tears in her eyes and a smile on her face.

Aubrey's legs gave out, and she would have hit the floor, if not for Stacie and Beca's quick reflexes. They grabbed her and gently helped her over to the chair, that Beca had been sitting in moments before.

Chloe followed them and kneeled on the ground in front of the chair Aubrey was sitting in and put her hand flat on the glass.

Aubrey sat for a moment staring at the redhead that she thought she'd never see again, and then gently put her hand on the glass, on top of where Chloe's hand was, on the other side.

"Is it really you?" The blonde asked quietly. When she was met with a puzzled look from Chloe. She looked up at Beca.

"She can't hear you through the glass and is apparently really bad at reading lips. We've been using these." Beca said gently as she handed Aubrey the notepad.

Aubrey accepted it with shaking hands and quickly wrote.

'Is it really you Chlo?'

Chloe nodded and then held up the response she had written.

'It's me Bree.'

"But how?" Aubrey said aloud, before remembering that Chloe couldn't hear her and writing it out.

'I don't know. I don't remember anything between eight months ago and waking up under the door in my bedroom earlier today.'

'Are you ok? How do you feel?'

'I feel fine, no different than I did eight months ago. I keep telling the doctors that, but they said this was something they'd never seen before and they needed to take some precautions.'

'I never thought I'd see you again. I missed you so much Chlo.' As Aubrey held up the last note, the tears that had been stinging the backs of her eyes finally began to fall.

When Beca and Stacie, who had been standing back by the nurse's station to give the two old friends a few minutes to catch up, heard Aubrey start to cry, they both rushed over and put their arms around her.

With a quick glance up at Chloe, Beca could see the tears running down her cheeks as well. She wanted nothing more than to go running into the room and hold Chloe as tight as she could for as long as she could, but she knew that would just get her thrown out of the hospital. So Beca did the only thing she could, she kept one arm around Aubrey and put her free hand up on the glass and tried to show Chloe with her eyes alone, just how much she was loved.


	12. Chapter 12

Two weeks later

Chloe sat, tucked snugly under Beca's arm, in the backseat of Stacie's car listening to Aubrey and Stacie talk animatedly in the front seat, about some of the hospital staff they had encountered during Chloe's stay. Surrounded by the familiar sound of her friends' voices and laughter, Chloe drifted off.

The last two weeks had been a whirlwind of every test and scan imaginable and the only reason she hadn't gone stark raving nuts, was Beca. Stacie and Aubrey had been in and out, but the small brunette had been outside of that damn window, the whole two weeks. She had even talked the nurses into bringing a reclining chair up, so she could sleep in the hallway. The only times she had left, were when she showered or ate, and even then she always made sure that there was someone else to take her place, so Chloe wouldn't have to be alone.

She had even asked Aubrey to pick up a couple of iPads so they could communicate more easily. They spent hours playing every two player app that the appstore had, and they were even able to message back and forth on the hospital Wi-Fi.

The stay almost even became fun, at times, when Beca told her that the studio had gotten them a new house and she wanted to do some online furniture shopping. They picked out everything they could possibly need, and used online room simulators to place it all. Once that was all taken care of, they sent the screenshots of how they wanted everything, to Aubrey and Stacie, who had agreed to be there to accept all the deliveries and get everything set up, so Chloe and Beca wouldn't have to worry about it when they came home.

The doctors had finally said Chloe was free to go, when the only thing all their tests showed was that she was one of the healthiest people they had ever examined. All of her organs were functioning normally and there was no indication that she had ever been anything other than alive and well.

"Chloe?"

The redhead was startled out of her thoughts by Stacie's louder than normal voice, and she looked around the car at three worried faces.

"Guys, I'm fine. I was just staring off into space." Chloe said with a nervous laugh.

The other three women in the car breathed a sigh of relief and Chloe felt Beca's body relax next to her.

"So anyway." Stacie said, steering the subject away from Chloe's health. "How about that cheeseburger? Where do we want to go?"

"In-N-out!" Beca and Chloe answered at the same time.

Aubrey and Stacie both laughed.

"In-n-out it is, then." Stacie said as she changed lanes, getting ready to take the next exit.

They quickly decided, upon seeing the ridiculously long drive-through line, to just eat there. They got their meals, and sat at a booth in the back corner. Aubrey and Stacie on one side and Beca and Chloe on the other.

The conversation stayed light and fun, going back and forth between everybody reminiscing over funny things that had happened while they were in the Bella's, and catching Chloe up on the high points of their lives over the last eight months.

Aubrey was in the middle of a story about her older brother getting hammered and making an ass out of himself at one of her father's company parties, when Chloe gasped.

All three women jumped and turned to look at her, hoping beyond all hope that something terrible hadn't just happened.

"Oh my God. Guys, does my mom know I'm ok?" Chloe asked, her voice sounding a bit panicked.

The three friends all breathed a sigh of relief and Beca spoke first.

"No, she doesn't. Not yet. We wanted to get you out of the hospital and make sure that you really were ok before we told anyone. I made the mistake of telling Bree, pretty casually over the phone, and she thought I had gone crazy again."

The "again" comment didn't escape Chloe's attention, and she made a mental note to ask Beca about it later, before she said

"I guess that makes sense, but how are we going to tell everybody?"

It was Stacie who spoke this time. "Well we talked about it and pending your input, we were thinking that we'd just call everyone you want to tell, and have them come to your new house. We can sit them all down and tell them, and when they don't believe us you can come out and talk to everybody."

"Isn't that a little theatrical?" Chloe asked.

"Well." Aubrey started "Yes, it is, but that's not the intent. It just seems like the best way to do it. I mean if we have them come over and then you just come walking out like 'oh hi guys' people are going to freak out and we don't want that. So even if we know they won't believe us when we tell them, at least when they finally do see you they will have had some warning."

Chloe thought about it for a moment and then finally said.

"Yeah I guess that does seem like the best idea. I don't want anyone having a heart attack or something because they saw me. So when do we call them?"

"As soon as you're ready." Beca said

"Maybe tomorrow then. I'd like tonight just to get settled in the new house and relax."

All three women nodded and smiled, before Chloe asked Aubrey to finish the story about her brother.

* * *

The rest of the meal had been fun. Filled with light conversation, lots of laughter, and many gentle touches and warm looks from Beca.

Stacie and Aubrey had dropped the two off at their house, declining the offer to come in. Saying that they would both be back early the next day to help Beca with all the phone calls that would need to be made.

The studio had sent Beca the floor plan of the new house, but neither she nor Chloe had ever actually been in it. So they spent the next hour exploring. They each checked out their bedrooms and the kitchen before Beca went to look at her office where all of her mixing equipment was still in boxes on the floor.

When they were both satisfied that everything was the way they wanted it, except for Beca's office which she would set up later, they met back up in the living room.

"So do you want to watch a movie or something?" Beca asked rather awkwardly.

Chloe smiled, she hadn't seen Beca this awkward in a long time, and it reminded her of the small girl she had met at the activities fair so long ago.

"Actually I think I'd like to go lay down for a bit. You can come in and we can talk for a while though."

Beca smiled and nodded and they made their way up to Chloe's room.

They walked down the hall and once they were in her room, Chloe flopped down onto the queen size bed, laying on her back, staring at the ceiling. Beca laid down on her side facing Chloe.

They stayed like that for a long moment. Chloe on her back lost in thought, and Beca watching her.

"Beca can I ask you a question?" Chloe finally asked, breaking the silence.

"Sure."

"When you said earlier, at lunch, that Bree thought you had lost your mind, again, what did you mean by that?"

Beca sighed, she had known this conversation would come up eventually, she just hoped that she would have had a little more time to prepare what she was going to say.

"Well after you… died." Beca said softly, "I kind of went a little off the rails."

When Beca didn't elaborate, Chloe asked "How so?"

"Remember how we used to have conversations via sticky notes?"

"Yeah."

"Well, I was so lost without you. I didn't know what to do with myself, so I wrote a few notes to you and stuck them up in your room. That didn't really make me feel any better so I started writing our story on the notes. Every little thing that I could remember about you got written down and stuck to the walls. I had papered the entire back of the house. Your room, the hall, my room and I was working on my office when I finally stopped."

"What made you stop?"

"I had been ignoring the calls and texts from all the Bella's and one day Aubrey came into the house unannounced and saw me. I had stopped showering, and was barely eating or sleeping. If it didn't have something to do with our story, I didn't pay any attention to it. When Bree found me, she tried to get me to clean myself up and saw the notes. I got scared and said some really mean things to her, but all she said to me was 'Chloe wouldn't want this for you', and that's what got me out of my rut. I knew it was true so I tried to stop writing the notes, but I couldn't. So I called Bree and she helped me get through it and back to my life."

Beca had started to softly cry at the memory of how broken she had been and Chloe reached up to wipe a tear away with the pad of her thumb.

"I'm so sorry Beca."

"No, hey don't be sorry." Beca said as she put her hand over Chloe's. "You're here now, that's all that matters. Besides it's not like you had a choice."

Chloe chuckled. "No I didn't."

They fell silent again for a few moments, before a thought occurred to Chloe.

"Becs?"

"Hmm?"

"Did the notes you wrote have anything to do with the ink I was covered in, when you found me?"

Beca looked intently at Chloe for a moment, before she answered.

"I think so, yeah. It was definitely my writing and I picked out a few words on your face that could have been a part of what I had written. Plus all of the notes I saw, that were laying around the old house, were blank."

"Well that explains some things." Chloe said matter of factly.

"What does it explain?" Beca asked, confused.

Chloe sat up and arranged herself until she was sitting cross legged on the bed, she waited for Beca to do the same and then said.

"Well this mostly."

Chloe pulled the top of her t-shirt down to reveal a small spot over her left breast, right over her heart. On the patch of skin, there were three words, the last of which looked like it had been smudged by a tear. It said simply 'I love you'.

Beca gasped and Chloe continued.

"This was the only bit of the ink that wouldn't wash off. It hasn't faded at all either; I think it's permanent."

Beca dissolved into tears and Chloe pulled her close and laid them both down, smoothing Beca's hair and whispering 'it's ok, I'm here' over and over again, until the small brunette's tears began to subside.

When Beca thought she would be able to speak again, she gently pulled out of the embrace and leaned up on her elbow, looking down at the beautiful redhead beside her.

"I need to tell you something Chloe."

"Ok." Chloe said, her tone warm and open.

"The reason I had gotten the reservations at that fancy restaurant, for that night, wasn't because of a bonus. It was because I had realized something and I wanted to tell you about it."

"Ok." Chloe said again, her tone still warm, but with a questioning lilt to it now.

"I'm in love with you Chlo and I have been for a long time. Maybe since we first met, I don't know really. All I know is that when I look at the rest of my life, the only person I ever see standing by my side is you."

Chloe looked at Beca with wide eyes for just a moment, before her gaze softened. She gently laid a hand on Beca's cheek and then leaned in, softly pressing their lips together.

The kiss was soft and warm, filled with all the love that had been waiting to be expressed for so many years.

After just a few moments Chloe pulled back and looked deeply into Beca's eyes, saying softly. "I love you too." Before putting her head on Beca's chest and nuzzling her face into the smaller girl's neck.

It was only a few minutes before both of them fell into the deepest, most restful sleep, either one of them had had in a long time, each secure in the other's arms.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: Ok so this is the last chapter in this story. It's an epilogue just to give you all a little bit more fluff to wrap things up. Thank you for all your reviews and kind words, and thank you for sticking with me! It's been a roller coaster, but we're finally back at the station safe and sound. :) 
> 
>  

 

Eleven years later

Beca and Chloe had just gotten back from the grocery store. It was their tenth wedding anniversary and they had decided that instead of going out and having some grand celebration, they would just spend a quiet evening at home, cooking dinner and just being together.

Beca unlocked the door as she listened to Chloe tell a story about a little boy from one of her classes, that had picked up the word shit somewhere, and then taught it to the rest of the class. Beca laughed as they walked into the living room, picturing a room of seven year olds all running around screaming shit, at the tops of their lungs. She was just about to make a comment when she saw movement in her peripheral vision and heard someone yell. Before she had time to process what was going on, she had thrown the contents of her left hand at the intruder.

She heard an "ooof" and looked up to see Aubrey holding the cabbage she had just been hit with and rubbing her chest.

"Ouch." Aubrey finally said.

"Oh my God, Bree I'm so sorry. Are you ok?"

Aubrey laughed and handed the cabbage back to Beca.

"Yeah I'm fine. Surprise!"

It was then that Beca noticed Aubrey wasn't the only person in the room. As she scanned over the faces, she saw all of the Bella's and their various significant others, Mamma and Poppa Beale, her own mom and dad, Chloe's older brothers, and a few other friends they had made over their years in LA.

"Guys." Chloe said, stepping forward to start the line of hugs "This is so sweet."

"We know you guys just wanted to lay low for your anniversary, but we couldn't let you not have a party for your ten year." Stacie said.

"Yeah shortstack, you and ginge, can't get rid of us that easily." Amy called from the back of the room, where she stood next to Bumper.

"Never thought we could, Amy." Beca said with a laugh.

It wasn't long until the party was in full swing. Toasts were given, some raunchy but funny, some sweet, and one from Lilly that no one really heard, but sounded like she was possibly comparing marriage to arson.

Aubrey had a meal catered and had made a playlist out of all the top ten hits that Beca had produced over the last ten years, and once dinner was over the coffee table was pushed back, and the living room became a dance floor.

* * *

Six hours after they had walked in with groceries in hand, everyone was gone, all left with promises to get together before everybody left town, and Chloe was lying in bed wide awake, with Beca snoring softly by her side.

She leaned up on her elbow and looked down at her wife. The blankets were pushed down to her waist leaving her bare torso exposed. Chloe reached over and gently ran her finger across the three words tattooed on the left side of Beca's chest. It matched the ink permanently embedded in her own skin, except these words were in her own handwriting, instead of Beca's. It was Beca's present to her on their first anniversary.

The doctors, try as they might, had never been able to explain Chloe cheating death, but Chloe had eventually decided that it was Beca's love for her that had brought her back to life.

When Beca showed her the tattoo she had said "My love may have brought you back to life, but it's your love that gave, and continues to give me my life."

A tear rolled down Chloe's cheek at the memory, and she sniffled.

"You ok baby?" Beca asked, her voice laced heavily with sleep.

"Yeah I'm ok love. I was just remembering our first anniversary."

Beca smiled, her eyes still closed. "That was a good one."

Chloe laughed "Yeah it was, but then again I can't think of a single day that I've spent with you that hasn't been good."

"Even last winter when I got that cold, and whined for six days solid?" Beca asked teasingly.

Chloe laughed again. "Yep even then." She was quiet for a moment before she added "Have you ever thought about what our lives would be like if we had never met? I mean if you hadn't come to Barden, or hadn't been at the activities fair that day or something?"

Beca leaned up on her elbow and looked at Chloe, now fully awake. "Why would I ever want to think about awful things like that?" She asked, concern clear in her voice.

"I dunno, I guess when I think about how lucky I am, sometimes I just think about how it all started with a chance meeting and how easy it would have been for either of us to miss that chance."

"Nope I don't believe that at all." Beca said surely.

"Why is that?" Chloe asked.

"Chlo, if there's one thing I've learned in my life, it's that when Lady fate says something is meant to be, it will be. No matter what hurdles you have to jump over, or mountains you have to move. What's meant to be, will be, and you and I, love, were meant to be. Not even death could get in the way of that." Beca said as she ran her finger over the words on Chloe's chest.

Chloe kissed Beca softly and then cuddled into her wife's side, sighing contentedly.

"I love you Becs." Chloe whispered into the dark room after a few moments.

"I love you too, Chlo." Beca whispered back, pulling her wife a little tighter against her side, and placing a gentle kiss against the top of her fiery red head, adding just before she fell asleep. "Chlo?"

"Hmm?"

"You've turned all my dreams into a reality."

Chloe snorted a laugh before poking Beca in the ribs softly and saying "Weirdo."

Beca chuckled "Yep, but at least I'm your weirdo."

"That you are my love, that you are." Chloe said on a yawn, before quickly falling into a peaceful sleep, in the arms of the woman she had fallen in love with so many years ago.


End file.
